The Family: A Proclamation to the World

In 1995, President Gordon B. Hinckley taught that "the divine plan of happiness enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave. Sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy temples make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally." To be able to have and partake of sacred ordinances and covenants is something that just amazes me. To be sealed for time and all eternity, is something that amazes me even more because I am so excited for the day that I can be sealed to my eternal companion forever. Not only to my eternal companion, but to my entire family-forever. In 1998, President Henry B. Eyring stated, "Eternal life means to become like the Father and to live in families in happiness and joy forever."

Nauvoo Illinois Temple

Elder A. Theodore Tuttle of the Seventy taught: "Frequently we perform marriages in the temple. These marriages are properly called celestial marriages, temple sealings, or eternal marriages. . . The family is the most important relationship in this life. In reality, the bride and groom are called to assingments in the family from which they are never released, except by transgression. This is the one eternal unit which can exist in the presence of God." When I first read this quote, I cried. What a blessing it is to know that I can be with my eternal family forever.

Looking back on my many life experiences, I have come to realize that I have shared a lot more about the Family: A proclamation to the World. I remember in high school, many of my friends were of different faiths and didn't understand all of the things that I believed. I had some of the most amazing experiences ever getting to share things with them that were so special to me.

Three and a half generations. My parents, my siblings, and my great grandmother. My sister was pregnant at the time.

One experience in particular I hold very close to my heart. I was able to talk with a dear friend of mine, who was struggling with what to do about graduation. She knew that she needed to graduate, so that she could work towards giving her daughter a better life. I talked with her about the importance of being able to not only provide for her physical needs, but also her emotional needs. She needed to be able to provide a stable home for her little girl. Her and her boyfriend at the time, decided that they needed to get engaged. It all came from a conversation about providing a stable home for their little girl, having her mommy and her daddy at home with her. She was willing to put her life on hold, so that he could also graduate. She wanted to make sure that her baby had what she never did.

Abuse in Families

Think about what you are saying to other people.

Abuse can happen in any family. Abuse happens more often than people think it does. Abuse is defined as any form of mistreatment by one individual that causes harm to another person. Abuse may happen in any of the following form: physical, emotional, neglect, isolation, financial or material exploitation, abandonment, sexual, and self-neglect. The most common forms of abuse are physical, emotional, and sexual, but the other forms may show up from time to time.

These thing and many more things are considered as abuse.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints has said, "Abuse is the physical, emotional, sexual, or spiritual mistreatment of others. It may not only harm the body, but it can deeply affect the mind and spirit, destroying faith and causing confusion, doubt, mistrust, guilt, and fear." In the Successful Marriages and Families book, we learn "Frequently, abusers have themselves been victims. One study found that about half of sex offenders had themselves been abused, and in general, those who have witnessed or experienced physical abuse as children are more likely to have violence in their relationships as adults." When a child is a victim, and they grow up watching and experiencing these things, they do tend to become adults who are abusive.

Always look at how people are reacting to your questions and your touches when looking for signs of abuse.

Intimate partner violence (IPV) is a public health problem, human rights issue, and clinical challenge. The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence have given the following estimates of IPV in the United States. A) Approximately one in every four women will experience physical violence by an intimate partner at least once in her life; B) Almost 1/3 of female homicide vitims reported in police records are killed by an intimate partner; C) About 1.3 million women are raped or physically assaulted or both by their intimate partners every year; D) Intimate partner violence results in more 18.5 million mental health care visits each year. These numbers are crazy. Many people wonder why people stay with an abusive partner. The abusive partner makes these people feel like they can't live without them. They threaten them and they manipulate them to get what they want.
Many abusers use multiple techniques to get every little thing that they want.

Fertility & Infertility & the Gift of Life

I am so extremely grateful for the wonderful blessings that our Father in heaven has entrusted us with. We may not realize, but he loves us so much. He has given us the sacred power to procreate. He wants to send us His children so that they too, can become more like him. Many people are able to have children and celebrate the gift of life, whereas others have had many problems with infertility.

David holding Tommy.

Just as I said above and just as it says in The Family: A Proclamation to the World, procreation is a sacred power. Having sex and having children is something that should happen within the bounds of a legal marriage. Many people in today's society believe that premarital sex is something that is okay to do. People do not realize that the bonds made is something that should be between two people who are married together.

As men and women employ "the sacred powers of procreation...lawfully wedded as husband and wife", they invite children into their homes. Caring for and nurturing infants, toddlers, young children, and teenagers enables mothers and fathers to obtain greater "faith, hope, charity, and love" (D&C 4:5) as well as "virtue, knowledge, temperance, patience, brotherly kindness, godliness, humility, [and] diligence" (D&C 4:6).  The things that husbands and wives are able to do with one another is beyond amazing. These married couples have one of the greatest responsibilities to teach their children about what God wants.

Lena-the sweet girl with bright blue eyes

Currently, the predicted average of how many children each woman will have in her lifetime is 2.4 children. I can see this in many of the people that I know, but there are plenty of people who I know who have way more than 2.4 children. There are plenty of reasons as to why people aren't having as many kids. Some reasons is there is a decrease in the economic value of children; there is a fear of overpopulation; there are several countries where there is a government pressure to not have as many kids-in this case, many people give up girls because they want a boy who can carry on the family name; more couples are choosing to remain childless; and there are more people using contraceptive. I think that another reason why people aren't having kids or as many kids, is because they have medical problems. My family has had several people who have something called Poly-Cystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). I myself suffer from PCOS, several of my aunts have PCOS, and several of my cousins have PCOS. PCOS is a genetic syndrome where the female's body doesn't create enough of a certain hormone, making it so that an egg doesn't get released from her ovaries. There are actually several other health problems that are linked to PCOS such as: glucose intolerance (pre-diabetes), diabetes, depression/anxiety, sleep apnea, unhealthy cholesterol, and endometrial cancer.

The gift of life is something so sweet and so precious. As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, we know that our body is a temple. We learn this in 1 Corinthians 3:16. "Know ye not that ye are the temple of God..."

Our bodies are temples.

Elder Lynn A. Mickelson, previously a member of the quorum of the seventy, elaborated on the importance of the principle that we "are created in God's image" (Moses 2:27). "We are created in the image of God. The union of he flesh with the spirit can bring us a fulness of joy. Teach your children to respect the sanctity of human life, to revere it and cherish it. Human life is the precious stepping-stone to eternal life, and we must jealously guard it from the moment of conception."
Life in all stages is beautiful. Babies are beautiful as they grow inside their mother's tummies. And even more beautiful and precious as they make an entrance into the world. Then you watch them grow up. They learn and they continue to grow and be beautiful. They become adults, and start having their own babies. They grow older, and give advice to their children and grandchildren, maybe even great-grandchildren. Then they pass away, and as sad as it is to lose somebody, it can be a joyous celebration. You can celebrate all of their accomplishments and remember them through your days.

Generations Through the Family

Family is extremely important in most parts of the world. In many different cultures, the children take care of their parents in their old age. The elderly and the youth hold very important places in our society today. The youth grow up to be the ones taking care of the elderly. They are being raised and taught thing that they will use in basic survival. In our class book, Successful Marriages & Families, chapter 17 discusses the support of families across the generations. Many family scholars during the first half of the 20th century were afraid that the children would grow up, move away to start families and jobs of their own, and rarely have contact with their aging parents and their extended families. While in most cases this is true of most families, many families love to be around their families, their parents and grandparents, and their extended family.

In 2003, President Boyd K. Packer taught, "We must teach our youth to draw close to the elderly grandpas and grandmas." How true this is. there are so many important things that we can earn from our grandparents. I know that from my own grandparents, I have learned many important lessons from both my maternal and paternal grandparents.

This is my maternal grandmother. She has been the rock in our family. She is one of the most loving people that I know. She has taught me so many wonderful things about my family history. She teaches me new things all the time. I love being able to cook with her and I love to help her with projects that she has planned. She is an inspiration to me and to my siblings. She is thoughtful and wonderful. She loves all of her grand-kids and great-grand-kids.



This is my maternal grandfather. He has helped me to have a love for many great things. He loves motorcycles, and ever since I was a small child, I would go on motorcycles, even though it would be up a few blocks, or just around town, it made all of us grand-kids so happy. He has taught us a love for Christmas tree lights. He loves it when we come and help him. He is a light in my life. I'm not sure what I would do without him. He loves to spoil each of us with cookies and ice cream.

 My late paternal grandfather, Robert. He passed away about 7 and a half years ago. We weren't the closest, but I do have a couple of good memories of him. I remember when I was really little, he had a big round belly and he would sit me right up on his belly. He taught my dad a lot of useful skills like working on cars, fixing things, and using his skills to help other people. He loved his kids. His oldest daughter is pictured with him. He lived a good long life and served our country in the Air Force. I remember going and helping him, as he got sick. It was often hard to see him as sick as he was, but I still remember the last time I got to talk to him and the last time he told me that he loved me.

This is my late paternal grandmother, Roberta with my younger cousin. She passed away about 5 and a half years ago, on Mother's Day week. It was a really hard time for my family and I, but she gave so many things to our family. She taught my whole family how to work hard, how to flip houses, how to be crafty, and most importantly how to be more like the Savior. She gave so many people so many blessings and she made a big difference in a lot of lives through out the Lincoln community. She taught me what I know about irises (her favorite flower), about gardening, and about paper stamping, something she passionately did to cheer up others, up until about three weeks before she passed away. I could sit there for hours helping her stamp.

While in high school, I thought about going into geriatrics therapy. I thought that it would be very fascinating to work with the elderly and to work with their families. Currently, my mom works with the state to give extra assistance to my great-grandmother (her grandmother). It is programs like these that we are able to help to take care of our elderly.

I love my grandparents. I loved being able to assist my paternal grandparents, and I love to help my maternal grandparents and great-grandparents. I have a great respect to those in the heath care profession who help to take care of our older loved ones. They hold a very special place in my heart. I won't ever forget those many wonderful nurses and hospice aids who helped my paternal grandparents in their last weeks and months of living.

Temple Covenants that can Save Families: They Cannot Be Lost

"The Shepherd will find his sheep. They were his before they were yours-long before he entrusted them to your care; and you cannot begin to love them as he loves them. They have but strayed in ignorance from the Path of Right, and God is merciful to ignorance. Only the fullness of knowledge brings the fullness of accountability. Our Heavenly Father is far more merciful, infinitely more charitable, than even the best of his servants, and the Everlasting Gospel is mightier in power to save than our narrow finite minds can comprehend"

~Elder Orson F. Whitney~

The temple is a very special place and it holds an amazing spot in my heart. I have had several family members who have not been the best that they could possibly be. I remember the many prayers that I myself said and that my parents have said, and that we still say. It can be extremely painful, to see loved ones stray away from what God wants for them. He wants us to return to him, to be sealed for time and all eternity, to those that we love the most.

"When a seal [the everlasting covenant] is put upon the father and mother, it secures their posterity, so that they cannot be lost, but will be saved by virtue of the covenant of their father and mother."

~Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith~

Even though, I myself, have not been sealed to a spouse, I know that through my parents sealing, and the sealing's of my siblings, I can be with my family forever. It is such a blessing for me to know that I can be with them no matter what happens. I can be with my extended family for time and all eternity, despite the differences that we may have because of this beautiful sealing power. 

This video is a testimony of the sealing power. I would like to add to her testimony.

I know that we can be sealed to our families for time and all eternity. We can be with our families for time and all eternity. We might make mistakes, we might have bad things or good things happen to us, but we can be a family forever. It is a blessing to know that when I get married, and even if I don't get married, I will be able to be with my parents, my siblings, and my nieces and nephews forever. They are my biggest blessings and I know that being sealed in the temple, by the proper authority, is what our Heavenly Father wants for each of us as His children. 

My family-this was for my older sister's sealing. I'm grateful for all of these wonderful people who came for it.

My older brother, with his wife and our parents on their sealing day a year ago.

Honor Thy Father

The average person has the opportunity to be able to have their dad, living with them and helping to raise them. I am one of those average people. I believe that having a father in the home, helping to raise the children that he helped to make is something that can change how children in today's society.

One of my favorite movies is "Courageous", a movie about five men, who have the courage to stand up against the forces of evil and try to be better men and fathers. The following clips are scenes that show the pact made between these men and some of the conversations between two of the deputies.

 In this scene the young deputy, David talks to his partner, Nathan about the importance of being a father. Nathan explains to David how not having his father around, really effected him.
Nathan really helps David see how one man's choice can have a lasting effect on so many people.

The next scene that I am sharing is the Father's Resolution. This resolution is what change many of the fathers in this movie. The Father's Resolution is just that. A resolution to become a better man, a better husband to your wives and a better father to your children. In this clip, all four of the Sheriff's deputies and their friend, Javier, accept to take this resolution and to become better men. They make this commitment in front of their wives, their children, and their God.

This scene is the scene where David, the youngest deputy shows that he has truly changed. He sends a letter to his daughter's mother, asking for her forgiveness for him being selfish. He says that he hasn't wanted to accept responsibility for having a daughter, but because he has found God, he knows what it is that he needs to be doing. But, he does it in a very respectable way. He doesn't try to force her, because he knows that she has been the one taking care of their daughter for the last four years.



I consider myself extremely lucky. I have had my father around and he has been one of the biggest influences in my life. He has been the one to give me advice and the person that I can turn to for anything that is going on in my life. He has always treated each of his children with respect, even when my siblings and I do some pretty stupid things. He is one of the most selfless people that I know.  He has been a father to not only my siblings and I, but to many other people who may not have a father figure in their life.

My Parents and my Maternal Grandparents with my sister and her husband at their sealing in Winter Quarters Nebraska!

My grandpa is somebody who I also look up to. He cares so much about other people and wants to help others all the time. He recently has been sick, but that hasn't stopped him at all. He has been there for my family, my aunt and her family, and my uncle and his family. He never gives up and he loves to teach my brothers about riding motorcycles. He amazes me too.

My sister and my brother-in-law have two children. Josh absolutely loves his kids. He loves spending time with them and he is a really good example to my younger brothers. He treats my sister like a queen and I think that it will help my nephews to not treat women less than the queens that they are and it will help my nieces to know not to expect anything less than being a queen.

My brother-in-law with my nephew and my newborn niece.

My older brother is somebody who I respect a lot. He came home off his two year mission in Seattle, Washington and got married. He and his wife had a handsome baby boy named Oliver Swede in July. Now, I have seen plenty of new dads and how they interact with their children, but I have never seen anybody act like how my brother acts with my sweet nephew. He just absolutely amazes me. Jacob has been one amazing blessing in my life.

My older brother and his sweet little one!!!

There is a primary song that comes to mind when talking about fatherhood and it is Love is Spoken Here in the children's song book. https://www.lds.org/music/library/childrens-songbook/love-is-spoken-here?lang=eng
The thing that sticks out to me here is how blessed I am to have the priesthood in my home, with my father and my mother leading the way. It is one of the biggest blessings that I have. I know that without fathers, we wouldn't be able to return to live with our Father in Heaven. I am so grateful for my dad, and for all of the father figures that I have in my life. I am grateful for the priesthood in my life and for the opportunity that I have to be able to go anywhere and have the priesthood and the chance to receive a priesthood blessing. I am grateful for the men in my life who are worthy to hold the priesthood and who are amazing examples of what fathers should be.


If you have questions about the priesthood, fathers or anything else about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, I would love to answer your questions. Or you can find answers at mormon.org.

The Sacred Calling of Motherhood

From the beginning of time, mothers have been a major part of families. While Elder Bruce C. Hafen was a member of the seventy, he said "For most of our history, the word motherhood meant honor, endearment, and sacrifice.... Yet this spirit of self-sacrifice has become a contentious issue in recent years, making contentious the very idea of motherhood." How true it is that motherhood has become a contentious issue. So many of my friends have had babies recently, and out of them, I would say a little over one third of them don't actually want to be a mother. How sad it is that they would give up their sweet babies to be able to keep going to parties, to keep drinking and doing drugs, or to get ahead in a career.
In 1942, the first presidency declared "Motherhood is near to divinity. It is the highest, holiest service to be assumed by mankind. It places her who honors its holy calling and service next to the angels." Mothers are people who are so special. I have had several mothers, including my own mother who have made an amazing impact on my life. They have given me the help that I need, they have helped to shape who I am, and they have taught me the ways of the Lord.
A few of the mothers who have impacted me the most would be my mom, my sister, my grandmother, my great grandmothers, and several friends.
My mom has helped me through everything and despite me having crazy ideas, she has supported me through my every endeavor. She has been such an influence of who I have become and what I want to achieve in my life. Sometimes, when life gets really hard and I just feel really down, she is the one who is there to pick me up and help me feel better.

My mom, my Sister, and Myself

My sister is somebody who I wish I could be more like. She is super loving, she loves to help me out with all of my problems, she tries so hard and keeps going even when she wants to quit, and she is somebody who a lot of people have looked up to. She is the mother of two small children and has one more on the way. She has a strong foundation and knows that without a doubt, being a mother is what she is supposed to be doing. She knows that it is what the Lord wants.

My grandma, mom, and I

My grandma has been the rock to our family for a long time. She is the one who joined the church and has kept us going in the gospel, despite when we might be falling away or even just "taking a break". She is one major blessing to our family. She has taught me so much about becoming a mother, becoming a wife, and about being a friend to those around us. She is an amazing woman who has so much to offer us.
A friend from church, Sister Bateman, is another amazing example of being an amazing mother. She is the wife of our former stake president and she is one of the most amazing, most selfless people that I know. She welcomed everyone to her home and she loved to have my siblings and I over ever Saturday morning for breakfast with the missionaries. She is somebody that I would love to be more like. She was a very gentle woman and she always loved to talk and to teach and most of all, she loved to love.

There is a primary song about mothers. I Often Go Walking

I often go walking in meadow of clover, And I gather armfuls of blossoms of blue. I gather the blossoms the whole meadow over; Dear mother, all flowers remind me of you.
O mother, I give you my love with each flower To give forth sweet fragrance a whole lifetime through; For if I love blossoms and meadows and walking, I learn how to love them, dear mother, from you.

To all of the amazing and sweet mother out in the world, any where in the world, just know that you are loved by so many people.

MARRIAGE & AN EQUAL PARTNERSHIP

Within "The Family: A Proclamation to the World", we learn about the importance of marriage and how marriage is an equal partnership between man and woman. These two principles were meant for us to be taught. We learn that we are to be together in marriage and in partnership.

The Importance of Marriage
Like most important relationships, marriage is an important one. One above others. We learn many things about man and woman and the important role they have as a husband and a wife through many different readings. In Genesis 2:24, we learn that a man must "leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife", so that he and his wife can "be one flesh." LDS President Spencer W. Kimball said in his book "The Miracle of Forgiveness", "The successful marriage depends in large measure upon the preparation made in approaching it... One cannot pick the ripe, rich, luscious fruit from a tree that was never planted, nurtured, nor pruned."
In 2010, the U.S. Census Bureau, determined that "Most young people no longer associate marriage with the transition to adulthood" and "a notable rise in the average age at which people first marry." In the year 2003, the average man was 27.1 years old the first time he got married and the average woman was 25.3 the first time she got married. This was 13 years ago. I'm sure that the average age for men and women getting married the first time has most likely risen since then.
Brother Merrill J. and Sister Marilyn S. Bateman teach us that, we live in a consumer culture. A culture where "people have learned to discard everything from paper plates to spouses" causing many to be understandably fearful of marriage. There is a fear of divorce, fear of being an inadequate spouse, fear of financial needs, and a fear of lifestyle changes that may compound sufficiently the need for singles to look forward to getting married.

An Equal Partnership
Having a marriage where one person thinks that they are better than everyone else, is not only harmful to the emotions of the other person, but it is also harmful to the marriage itself. This is why we learn in The Family: A Proclamation to the World, that we are equal in our marriage, our partnership, and in our roles as parents. Even though we all aspire to be of "one heart and one mind" (Moses 7:18) this doesn't mean that we are identical. We learn from the scriptures that one gender does not have greater eternal possibility than the other. (Moses 2:26-27; 2 Nephi 26: 28, 33) We need to think of all that we believe to be true about the the equality, both here and in Zion, of men and
women in God's kingdom: equal in blessings; equal in power, intelligence, wisdom, dignity, respect, giving counsel, giving consent, agency, value, potential, authority, exalted fullness, virtue, spirituality, and spiritual gifts; equal in temporal thing in Zion; and equal heirs with Christ.

Elder Earl C. Tingey, then serving as a member of the Seventy, said in a CES fireside, "You must not misunderstand what the Lord meant when Adam was told he was to have a helpmeet. A helpmeet is a companion suited to or equal to us. We walk side by side with a helpmeet, not one before or behind the other. A helpmeet results in an absolute equal partnership between a husband and a wife. Eve was to be equal to Adam as a husband and wife are to be equal to each other." From the beginning, we have been meant to be together. To be willing to work with one another, to counsel with one another and to be with one another. It has never been meant to be one before the other, but one with another.

I know that because of the things that we are taught in The Family: A Proclamation to the World, we can truly become and have all that the Father has in store for each of us. We can be and are a blessing to our spouse, our children, and our families. I know that through the Lord all things are possible and we can gain all things through Him.

Is there only one?!

Is there only one person for each of us? No, I don't think so. I don't think that there is only one person meant for each of us. I think that there is definitely more than one "perfect person" for each of us. We had a zone conference before our mission president was released and he did a kind of mini exit interview. He was talking to us about "the one". He told us that there could be this really special girl or boy in our lives and we would be totally in love. But one day, something could happen to them before the opportunity to be sealed could happen, and they die. What do we do then? We move on over time, and we meet someone else. We fall in love with them and we get sealed and we can have the chance to live happily ever after.
So to answer the question of only one person who is perfect for us, no. There are more than one person who is perfect for us. Heavenly Father put lots of people who have lots in common with us and we with them. We need to pray and make sure that they are the person that we want to spend eternity with. We need to make sure that for us, this is what we need and what we want. Things can change and people can change.

The Family!

Currently, I am taking a class all about the family. We have been learning and researching so many things about the family, our Heavenly Father's plan for our family, why the family is so important, and so many other things.

We have been talking a lot about "The Family: A Proclamation to the World." In this amazing proclamation, our beloved prophet and the apostles talk to us about the many things that are a challenge to the family unit. We learn that each of us were made in the image of our Father in Heaven. We look just like him, because just as we learned in Genesis 1:27, "...In the image of God created he him; male and female created he them." We learn that we are the beloved spirit son or daughter of loving heavenly parents, who have created a divine nature and a divine destiny for each of us. They love us so much and we love them too.

In the pre-mortal realm, we knew and we worshipped God as our Eternal Father, we accepted his plan to come to this earth to gain a physical body and gain the earthly experience that each of us need "to progress toward perfection and ultimately realize our divine destiny as heirs of eternal life."
The first commandment that our Father in Heaven gave to Adam and Eve was to "multiply and replenish the earth." This commandment still remains in full force as it is important to our eternal life. It is further declared that "...God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife." It is affirmed of the sanctity of life and the importance that life has in God's eternal plan.
In the proclamation, we learn the outline of the family and the responsibility that a man and a woman have. A "husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children... Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, to observe the commandments of God and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live." We have a solemn responsibility and a sacred duty to our children. It is solemn and it is sacred. How can we or anybody ignore that it is solemn and it is so sacred to be parents of God's little children. We are promised that we as mothers and fathers, "will be held accountable before God for the discharge of our sacred obligations.
"The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan." We have a sacred duty to attend to our responsibilities that we agreed to before we came to this life. We agreed to have children someday. We agreed that we would help take care of them for time and all eternity. It matters that we uphold our side of our promise with God. We have sacred responsibilities and we are obligated to help one another as equal partners.
I believe in marriage for eternity. I know that through the sacred sealing power, I can be with my family for not only time, but I can be with them for eternity too. I know that marriage is supposed to be between a man and a woman, who are legally married. I know that children are sent here, so that we can help them learn and know of our Father in Heaven and to be taught of our Savior, Jesus Christ. I know that we have a solemn responsibility and a sacred duty to our Heavenly Father's children. I know that the church is true. I have a testimony of these things because I have prayed about them and I have learned for myself that this is how God wants things.

The Relationship Attachment Model.

The Relationship Attachment Model or RAM, consists of 5 different parts-Commit, Know, Trust, Rely, and Touch. Our author, felt that it was very important to have a very good balance between these 5 things. And I agree.
As we discussed in a marriage class that I took last year, a person has to start off somewhere, before they decide to go farther in other areas. It is always good to find a good balance between them, but starting out with having a lot of Touch, can be an issue. We talked about how important it is to know and trust somebody before you commit to them. After getting to know you and them getting to know you, you can gain a mutual trust between each other, that sooner than later, will gain a commitment for the both of you. Once you have gained a knowledge of each other, you trust each other, and you have decided to make a commitment to each other, you start to heavily rely on each other. And last but not least, after you have gotten to know each other, you have that trust and that commitment to one another now, and you rely on them, that is when touch should begin to start happening.
Something that I find important is when somebody can go through an entire relationship before marriage and not ever once touch the other person, for their own personal desires and gratification. This shows so much love that these two people must have towards each other. Some people start their relationship out with touch, and lots of times they regret this for their entire life.

How Marriage Has Affected My Life...

Marriage is something that we see around us a lot, especially as students in community where it is a norm. Marriage is something that I have grown up, being taught, that it is something that is not to be taken lightly. I have dated people throughout the past several years, some whom I can see myself marrying some day, others who I sometimes wonder, "why would Heavenly Father let me date somebody who I don't want to marry or have anything to do with now?" I can tell you why. It is because he loves me enough to allow me to make my own choices, to decide what I truly want in a husband for myself, and in a father for the children that he will bless us with some day. I know that can seem like kind of a strange thing to think about, but it is so true.

I was talking to a friend of mine, who said something that kind of shocked me. He said, "You girls all have a list of what you want the perfect husband to be. Well, to be honest, I have had a list up until a few months before I got home from my mission. I had all of these expectations of what I wanted in a perfect wife, and a perfect mother."

Wow. I seriously thought that it was always girls that had the list of the perfect spouse-that it was only us as girls who had that long horrifying list of the perfect spouse. I guess it really never occurred to me, that it is something that guys think about too. My friend said, "I gave up on that list after I realized, I need to marry who Heavenly Father wants me to marry." After hearing this last remark, I realized that over the span of the last five or so years, I too have been giving up on this precious list, that leaders would have us make in weekly activities.

I think of a talk given by Elder Robert D. Hales, in the October 2015 General Conference for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, in which he addresses matters given to us as the younger generation in today's societies. Elder Hales says, "Again, may I speak frankly? The track that leads to marriage passes through the terrain called dating! Dating is the opportunity for lengthy conversations. When you date, you learn everything you can about each other. Get to know each other's families when possible. Are your goals compatible? Do you share the same feelings about the commandments, the Savior, the priesthood, the temple, parenting, callings in the Church, and serving others? Have you observed one another under stress, responding to success and failure, resisting anger, and dealing with setbacks? Does the person you are dating tear others down or build them up? Is his or her attitude and language and conduct what you would like to live with every day?
That said, none of us marry perfection; we marry potential. The right marriage is not only about what I want; it's also about what she-who's going to be my companion-wants and needs me to be."

Wow. How powerful is this message that our beloved apostle has shared with us?

I have realized, that no matter how perfect I want my husband to be, I remember that nobody is perfect. We all have mistakes and we all have the tendencies of the natural man. We all have mistakes, and we all have things that we are trying to work on and overcome. I used to have a really long list of what I wanted. But, after lots of dating, praying, and fasting, I know that the Lord has somebody who loves me for who I am, looking past my mistakes, and looking forward to the future that we will have together.

There have been several people who have amazing marriages that I would like to be like. There are my parents who show that working together can really actually happen. They have been the biggest blessing in my life and the biggest examples to me of what a marriage should look like.
There is the stake president who I grew up knowing as the stake president and his lovely wife, who always had good things to say about everyone. They were so humble and they loved to serve the Lord.
There is my sister and brother-in-law, who have been married for three years, but have been such blessings in my life. I am so grateful for them and the sweet little children that they have brought into this world.
There is my brother and sister-in-law who have shown over the past 8 months of marriage, that when sacrifices need to be made, they can be made. And life can definitely go on with the bare necessities.
There are so many more marriages that I admire, and I know that someday, I will be able to work on my own Happily Ever After!

I know that for sure, I want to be able to have my own marriage. Knowing that it won't be perfect, and my husband won't be just a list of expectations that I have always had for him. I don't even care about most of the list because I know that he will be perfect for me. I know that I want a marriage that will be forever, that I can be sealed to him for Time and all Eternity. Nothing can stop me from reaching that one goal. I think seeing examples of marriage, where things can be pretty rocky at times due to problems in the world, it makes me want to try harder to make a marriage work. And to make any relationship work.

How Our Children Are Using Their Time on Technology... And Other Things...

How are your children using their time? Are they using lots of screen time? Or are they doing things that could be helping them get farther in their lives and their education? What are your children doing while using up their "precious" screen time? Do you actually know what your kids are really looking at?

A study done by the Kaiser Family Foundation shows how the average kid really spends their day. The average kid spends 2.5 hours listening to music, almost 5 hours of television and movies, 3 hours of internet and video games, and only 38 minutes of good old fashioned reading. This right now adds up to about 75 hours every week of media usage. But this also doesn't include 1.5 hours of texting and 30 minutes of actual talking on the phone every day. Add all of this together and your child is using a mere average of 356 hours to the average month and almost 4,700 hours every year. What does this mean? This means that on average they are spending over half of the year using some sort of media/technology.

Ever wondering what your kids are doing after they ask to get onto Facebook and you allow them? What apps are they using. There are many kinds of apps that our children love to use. You might recognize a few of these apps that you might use as often as they do. There are texting apps, micro-blogging apps, live streaming, self destructing/secretive apps, and chatting/meeting/dating apps.

Some of the common texting apps are Kik, ooVoo, and WhatsApp are all very common texting apps. Some things that parents need to know about Kik is that its loaded with in app ads and purchasing and there is a need to be cautious of stranger danger. Kik has been linked with some high-profile crimes. OoVoo and WhatsApp can be a bit better than Kik because you can only chat with people who are in your contacts and have the app too, but ooVoo can become very addicting because of video chatting and WhatsApp becomes very pushy for your child to start adding other friends who don't have the app.
Common micro-blogging apps are Instragram, Tumblr, Twitter, and Vine. These are like online scrap-booking apps that allow teens and adults to share pictures and videos with others. Many times, things can be search using a hashtag and things shared are often open to the general public. Many things can be raunchy, pornographic, or can be related, to drugs, gangs, and other worldly things.
Live streaming apps aren't nearly as common as other apps, but one come app is YouNow. YouNow allows kids to stream live and watch things live. The main focus with this app is to get the most followers and have the biggest fan base.
Self-destructing and secretive apps are actually very common and some of the top apps are BurnNote, Snapchat, Whisper, YikYak. These apps allow people to send messages, videos, or pictures, and allow them to disappear after a small amount of time. Parents need to realize that these apps allow sexting to happen more often. Since these pictures and videos often only last "a few seconds" the chances of sexting and cyber-bullying happening, are much higher than people would honestly think that they are.
Chatting, meeting, and dating apps are much more common with people in their late teen years and in their 20's. These apps allow young people to meet and get to know other people who are their age, without having a real commitment. People need to realize that this can often be a very dangerous way to hook up with people. Some of the common relationship apps are MeetMe, Tinder, Omegle, and Skout.

I think that as we are having children who have phones, Ipads, and tablets, we need to know what apps it is that they are using. We need to be informed of the the things that they find fascinating and things that they are interested in. I know from my personal life, I often don't know somethings, even though, I am a part of the generation who uses technology all of the time. Can you even imagine, what could be happening with your child or teenager and you don't have any clue what is going on? This I feel is what most parents feel is happening to them.

Lets be the parents who can be their child's friend, but also be their parent too! We can't honestly expect them to listen to us, if we are just being their friend, but we also can't expect them to trust us, if we can't be an adult about things going on with them either. If you feel like your child or teen is spending a bit to much time on their social media, stand up and make a change. Go do something that you know they will honestly love! They will thank you for it later in life.



ABC news. Retrieved from http://abcnews.go.com/WN/kids-electronics-study-shows-kids-spend-hours-day/story?id=9616699

Elgersma, C. (2016). Common Sense Media. Retrieved from https://www.commonsensemedia.org/blog/16-apps-and-websites-kids-are-heading-to-after-facebook

For TIME... And All ETERNITY!!!

Marriage means different things to different people. For some it just means to be married and that is that. But for me, marriage means that I can be sealed for Time and ALL Eternity to my best friend. In today's day and age, marriage isn't as important as it used to be. But for many, there is still hope that there is one person. There are still people who believe that being married is of God.

As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, I believe that marriage is between a man and a woman. I also believe that when you are married, you can be sealed for time and all eternity to your spouse. It sounds kind of crazy, but it would be just as hard to have a family, have someone who you love so much and not be able to be with them forever.

Here are just a few quotes and a few scriptures about marriage that I like and love!!!

"A strong marriage rarely has two strong people at the same time. It is a husband and wife who take turns being strong for each other in the moments when the other feels weak." -Ashley Willis

"Rules for a Happy Marriage:
1. Never both be angry at the same time.
2. Never yell at each other unless the house is on fire.
3. If one of you has to win an argument, let it be your spouse.
4.If you have to criticize, do it lovingly.
5. Never bring up mistakes from the past.
6. Neglect the whole world rather than each other.
7. Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled.
8. At least once a day say a kind word or pay a compliment to your partner.
9. When you have done something wrong, admit it and ask for forgiveness.
10. It takes two to make a quarrel, and the one in the wrong is usually the one who does the most talking." -Unknown

"You don't marry someone you can live with-You marry the person you cannot live without."
-Unknown

"We simply can't abandon ship every time we encounter a storm in our marriage. Real love is about weathering the storms of live together." -Seth Adam Smith

"Marriage provides an ideal setting for overcoming any tendency to be selfish or self-centered."
-Richard G. Scott

"If you want something to last forever, you treat it differently. You shield it and protect it. You never abuse it. You don't expose it to the elements. You don't make it common or ordinary. If it ever becomes tarnished, You lovingly polish it until it gleams like new. It becomes special because you have made it so, and it grows more beautiful and precious as time goes by." -Elder F. Burton Howard

"None of us marry perfection; we marry potential." -Robert D. Hales

"Marriage & Children are not part of the plan of happiness, it IS the plan of happiness."
-Boyd K. Packer

"Many things are good, many are important, but only a few are essential."-D. Todd Christofferson

"Make it your goal to create a marriage that feels like the safest place on earth." -Greg Smalley

"Peace I leave with you. My peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." John 14:27

If you would like to learn more of what I believe or what the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints stance on marriage is you can email me or visit lds.org or mormon.org to talk with the missionaries! :)

Woah!!! What just happened...

Wow!!! Just WOW!!! Can you believe that it is already midterms up here?!! I seriously can't believe it! At this point in time things are going crazy out here in the Iceburg of Idaho. I have just completed the first half of my second semester of my freshman year of college... AKA... My second semester of the 13th grade!!! Wow... Life just doesn't want to slow down at all!!!

SO... The last few weeks... They have definitely been exciting! And crazy... Where to begin first is the big question!!!

My big brother is having a baby!!! ITS A BOY!!! I am just so darn excited because I get to have another baby in the family!!! Who knew it could be so exciting... JK... We all knew how exciting it is...

My little Lena is about 6 weeks old. How crazy is that?! I feel like it was just yesterday that I was getting sweet little pictures of her being a newborn! Its insane to think she is almost 2 months old. I don't know how time flew by so quickly. I just feel like it was yesterday. But in about 6 weeks, I get to meet this little cutie for the first time in both our lives... I can't wait to hold her. (Just hoping that she doesn't scream and cry when I do.

My little man turns 2 years old in about a week and a half. He is my little sweet heart and my favorite munchkin!!! So happy early birthday to my "BIG" little man!!!! I love you so much Bubby!!!

In about 6 weeks, I get to see my parents!!! I can't wait!!! I'm going to get to go to the Salt Lake City temple with them and I get to pick them up from the airport!!! Nothing like taking your daughter on your 25th wedding anniversary. Not like there is a whole they can do about that though. I'm actually quite ready to be able to go home and have them drive home with me!!! Their my biggest supporters so why wouldn't I be happy and excited!!! 

So... In one of my classes, we have been talking about the blessings that we have seen in our lives and any sacred experiences that we have had personally. If you wouldn't mind sharing, comment the blessings that you've seen in your life. What blessings do you hold near and dear to your heart? What sacred experiences have you had that you hold near and dear?

Marriage!!!

Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of Faith, Prayer, Repentance, Forgiveness, Respect, Love, Compassion, Work, and Wholesome Recreational Activities. (The Family: A Proclamation To The World)

I am convinced that a Husband is never more attractive to his wife than when he is serving in his God-given roles as a worthy priesthood holder. (Linda K. Burton)

Love is spelled TIME. (President Dieter F. Uchtdorf)

A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers. (Ruth Bell Graham)

You will Forever be MY Always! (Unknown)

Love is meant to be an adventure. (Gordon B. Hinckley)

Those who are married should consider their union as their most cherished earthly relationship. A spouse is the only person other than the Lord whom we have been commanded to love with all our heart. One of our Heavenly Father's first commandments was to multiply and replenish the earth. Genesis 1:28 says, "And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it:.." 

In Genesis, Chapter 2, verse 24, we learn about husband and wife. It says, "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife; and they shall be one flesh." 

We are taught that marriage is between one man and woman. Marriage was made this way because we have been commanded to "multiply and replenish the earth", to bring our Heavenly Father's children to this earth so that they can have the same opportunities as we have had, so that they can help to fulfill Heavenly Father's plan to be tried and to be tested. Marriage is the way to do that.

Once... In the middle of Rexburg...

Ok. But honestly. I don't know how much of this actually has to do with being in the middle of Rexburg... But I have definitely realized how crazy life can really be. There have been so many things that just keep happening and I'm just so excited for everything.

My sister had a beautiful little girl. She is so gorgeous!!! And Precious!!!! And I could just definitely go on and on and on about her. Her name is Caroline Janine and she is just the best little bundle you could possibly ask for. Its just such a blessing to know that because my sister and brother-in-law made such a wonderful covenant with our Father in Heaven and they can be married and sealed for time and all eternity. Its so wonderful to know that.

 I have been so blessed the last several months. I have learned so much coming to Brigham Young University-Idaho. How wonderful it is to be able to truly learn what our Heavenly Father has in store for each of us. To learn more of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, and what it is that he did for us. He gave his life so that we could return to live with our heavenly parents.

 Idaho Falls, Idaho Temple

 Salt Lake City, Utah Temple

Logan, Utah Temple
I am so blessed to know of the things that happen in these beautiful temples!!! They truly are the House of The Lord. I am so blessed when I can walk into them or see them, and be able to see "House of the Lord", knowing that I am worthy to partake in all of the blessings of these beautiful places!!!

I was so excited to be able to fly home and see my sweet family for Christmas. It was definitely one of the best decisions I have ever made. I love knowing that I can go home to see me family and know how much they love me. I love having the knowledge that my parents got married and sealed by the right authority for time and all eternity.