Marriage is something that we see around us a lot, especially as students in community where it is a norm. Marriage is something that I have grown up, being taught, that it is something that is not to be taken lightly. I have dated people throughout the past several years, some whom I can see myself marrying some day, others who I sometimes wonder, "why would Heavenly Father let me date somebody who I don't want to marry or have anything to do with now?" I can tell you why. It is because he loves me enough to allow me to make my own choices, to decide what I truly want in a husband for myself, and in a father for the children that he will bless us with some day. I know that can seem like kind of a strange thing to think about, but it is so true.
I was talking to a friend of mine, who said something that kind of shocked me. He said, "You girls all have a list of what you want the perfect husband to be. Well, to be honest, I have had a list up until a few months before I got home from my mission. I had all of these expectations of what I wanted in a perfect wife, and a perfect mother."
Wow. I seriously thought that it was always girls that had the list of the perfect spouse-that it was only us as girls who had that long horrifying list of the perfect spouse. I guess it really never occurred to me, that it is something that guys think about too. My friend said, "I gave up on that list after I realized, I need to marry who Heavenly Father wants me to marry." After hearing this last remark, I realized that over the span of the last five or so years, I too have been giving up on this precious list, that leaders would have us make in weekly activities.
I think of a talk given by Elder Robert D. Hales, in the October 2015 General Conference for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, in which he addresses matters given to us as the younger generation in today's societies. Elder Hales says, "Again, may I speak frankly? The track that leads to marriage passes through the terrain called dating! Dating is the opportunity for lengthy conversations. When you date, you learn everything you can about each other. Get to know each other's families when possible. Are your goals compatible? Do you share the same feelings about the commandments, the Savior, the priesthood, the temple, parenting, callings in the Church, and serving others? Have you observed one another under stress, responding to success and failure, resisting anger, and dealing with setbacks? Does the person you are dating tear others down or build them up? Is his or her attitude and language and conduct what you would like to live with every day?
That said, none of us marry perfection; we marry potential. The right marriage is not only about what I want; it's also about what she-who's going to be my companion-wants and needs me to be."
Wow. How powerful is this message that our beloved apostle has shared with us?
I have realized, that no matter how perfect I want my husband to be, I remember that nobody is perfect. We all have mistakes and we all have the tendencies of the natural man. We all have mistakes, and we all have things that we are trying to work on and overcome. I used to have a really long list of what I wanted. But, after lots of dating, praying, and fasting, I know that the Lord has somebody who loves me for who I am, looking past my mistakes, and looking forward to the future that we will have together.
There have been several people who have amazing marriages that I would like to be like. There are my parents who show that working together can really actually happen. They have been the biggest blessing in my life and the biggest examples to me of what a marriage should look like.
There is the stake president who I grew up knowing as the stake president and his lovely wife, who always had good things to say about everyone. They were so humble and they loved to serve the Lord.
There is my sister and brother-in-law, who have been married for three years, but have been such blessings in my life. I am so grateful for them and the sweet little children that they have brought into this world.
There is my brother and sister-in-law who have shown over the past 8 months of marriage, that when sacrifices need to be made, they can be made. And life can definitely go on with the bare necessities.
There are so many more marriages that I admire, and I know that someday, I will be able to work on my own Happily Ever After!
I know that for sure, I want to be able to have my own marriage. Knowing that it won't be perfect, and my husband won't be just a list of expectations that I have always had for him. I don't even care about most of the list because I know that he will be perfect for me. I know that I want a marriage that will be forever, that I can be sealed to him for Time and all Eternity. Nothing can stop me from reaching that one goal. I think seeing examples of marriage, where things can be pretty rocky at times due to problems in the world, it makes me want to try harder to make a marriage work. And to make any relationship work.
Thursday, March 17, 2016
Wednesday, March 9, 2016
How Our Children Are Using Their Time on Technology... And Other Things...
How are your children using their time? Are they using lots of screen time? Or are they doing things that could be helping them get farther in their lives and their education? What are your children doing while using up their "precious" screen time? Do you actually know what your kids are really looking at?
A study done by the Kaiser Family Foundation shows how the average kid really spends their day. The average kid spends 2.5 hours listening to music, almost 5 hours of television and movies, 3 hours of internet and video games, and only 38 minutes of good old fashioned reading. This right now adds up to about 75 hours every week of media usage. But this also doesn't include 1.5 hours of texting and 30 minutes of actual talking on the phone every day. Add all of this together and your child is using a mere average of 356 hours to the average month and almost 4,700 hours every year. What does this mean? This means that on average they are spending over half of the year using some sort of media/technology.
Ever wondering what your kids are doing after they ask to get onto Facebook and you allow them? What apps are they using. There are many kinds of apps that our children love to use. You might recognize a few of these apps that you might use as often as they do. There are texting apps, micro-blogging apps, live streaming, self destructing/secretive apps, and chatting/meeting/dating apps.
Some of the common texting apps are Kik, ooVoo, and WhatsApp are all very common texting apps. Some things that parents need to know about Kik is that its loaded with in app ads and purchasing and there is a need to be cautious of stranger danger. Kik has been linked with some high-profile crimes. OoVoo and WhatsApp can be a bit better than Kik because you can only chat with people who are in your contacts and have the app too, but ooVoo can become very addicting because of video chatting and WhatsApp becomes very pushy for your child to start adding other friends who don't have the app.
Common micro-blogging apps are Instragram, Tumblr, Twitter, and Vine. These are like online scrap-booking apps that allow teens and adults to share pictures and videos with others. Many times, things can be search using a hashtag and things shared are often open to the general public. Many things can be raunchy, pornographic, or can be related, to drugs, gangs, and other worldly things.
Live streaming apps aren't nearly as common as other apps, but one come app is YouNow. YouNow allows kids to stream live and watch things live. The main focus with this app is to get the most followers and have the biggest fan base.
Self-destructing and secretive apps are actually very common and some of the top apps are BurnNote, Snapchat, Whisper, YikYak. These apps allow people to send messages, videos, or pictures, and allow them to disappear after a small amount of time. Parents need to realize that these apps allow sexting to happen more often. Since these pictures and videos often only last "a few seconds" the chances of sexting and cyber-bullying happening, are much higher than people would honestly think that they are.
Chatting, meeting, and dating apps are much more common with people in their late teen years and in their 20's. These apps allow young people to meet and get to know other people who are their age, without having a real commitment. People need to realize that this can often be a very dangerous way to hook up with people. Some of the common relationship apps are MeetMe, Tinder, Omegle, and Skout.
I think that as we are having children who have phones, Ipads, and tablets, we need to know what apps it is that they are using. We need to be informed of the the things that they find fascinating and things that they are interested in. I know from my personal life, I often don't know somethings, even though, I am a part of the generation who uses technology all of the time. Can you even imagine, what could be happening with your child or teenager and you don't have any clue what is going on? This I feel is what most parents feel is happening to them.
Lets be the parents who can be their child's friend, but also be their parent too! We can't honestly expect them to listen to us, if we are just being their friend, but we also can't expect them to trust us, if we can't be an adult about things going on with them either. If you feel like your child or teen is spending a bit to much time on their social media, stand up and make a change. Go do something that you know they will honestly love! They will thank you for it later in life.
ABC news. Retrieved from http://abcnews.go.com/WN/kids-electronics-study-shows-kids-spend-hours-day/story?id=9616699
Elgersma, C. (2016). Common Sense Media. Retrieved from https://www.commonsensemedia.org/blog/16-apps-and-websites-kids-are-heading-to-after-facebook
A study done by the Kaiser Family Foundation shows how the average kid really spends their day. The average kid spends 2.5 hours listening to music, almost 5 hours of television and movies, 3 hours of internet and video games, and only 38 minutes of good old fashioned reading. This right now adds up to about 75 hours every week of media usage. But this also doesn't include 1.5 hours of texting and 30 minutes of actual talking on the phone every day. Add all of this together and your child is using a mere average of 356 hours to the average month and almost 4,700 hours every year. What does this mean? This means that on average they are spending over half of the year using some sort of media/technology.
Ever wondering what your kids are doing after they ask to get onto Facebook and you allow them? What apps are they using. There are many kinds of apps that our children love to use. You might recognize a few of these apps that you might use as often as they do. There are texting apps, micro-blogging apps, live streaming, self destructing/secretive apps, and chatting/meeting/dating apps.
Some of the common texting apps are Kik, ooVoo, and WhatsApp are all very common texting apps. Some things that parents need to know about Kik is that its loaded with in app ads and purchasing and there is a need to be cautious of stranger danger. Kik has been linked with some high-profile crimes. OoVoo and WhatsApp can be a bit better than Kik because you can only chat with people who are in your contacts and have the app too, but ooVoo can become very addicting because of video chatting and WhatsApp becomes very pushy for your child to start adding other friends who don't have the app.
Common micro-blogging apps are Instragram, Tumblr, Twitter, and Vine. These are like online scrap-booking apps that allow teens and adults to share pictures and videos with others. Many times, things can be search using a hashtag and things shared are often open to the general public. Many things can be raunchy, pornographic, or can be related, to drugs, gangs, and other worldly things.
Live streaming apps aren't nearly as common as other apps, but one come app is YouNow. YouNow allows kids to stream live and watch things live. The main focus with this app is to get the most followers and have the biggest fan base.
Self-destructing and secretive apps are actually very common and some of the top apps are BurnNote, Snapchat, Whisper, YikYak. These apps allow people to send messages, videos, or pictures, and allow them to disappear after a small amount of time. Parents need to realize that these apps allow sexting to happen more often. Since these pictures and videos often only last "a few seconds" the chances of sexting and cyber-bullying happening, are much higher than people would honestly think that they are.
Chatting, meeting, and dating apps are much more common with people in their late teen years and in their 20's. These apps allow young people to meet and get to know other people who are their age, without having a real commitment. People need to realize that this can often be a very dangerous way to hook up with people. Some of the common relationship apps are MeetMe, Tinder, Omegle, and Skout.
I think that as we are having children who have phones, Ipads, and tablets, we need to know what apps it is that they are using. We need to be informed of the the things that they find fascinating and things that they are interested in. I know from my personal life, I often don't know somethings, even though, I am a part of the generation who uses technology all of the time. Can you even imagine, what could be happening with your child or teenager and you don't have any clue what is going on? This I feel is what most parents feel is happening to them.
Lets be the parents who can be their child's friend, but also be their parent too! We can't honestly expect them to listen to us, if we are just being their friend, but we also can't expect them to trust us, if we can't be an adult about things going on with them either. If you feel like your child or teen is spending a bit to much time on their social media, stand up and make a change. Go do something that you know they will honestly love! They will thank you for it later in life.
ABC news. Retrieved from http://abcnews.go.com/WN/kids-electronics-study-shows-kids-spend-hours-day/story?id=9616699
Elgersma, C. (2016). Common Sense Media. Retrieved from https://www.commonsensemedia.org/blog/16-apps-and-websites-kids-are-heading-to-after-facebook
Thursday, March 3, 2016
For TIME... And All ETERNITY!!!
Marriage means different things to different people. For some it just means to be married and that is that. But for me, marriage means that I can be sealed for Time and ALL Eternity to my best friend. In today's day and age, marriage isn't as important as it used to be. But for many, there is still hope that there is one person. There are still people who believe that being married is of God.
As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, I believe that marriage is between a man and a woman. I also believe that when you are married, you can be sealed for time and all eternity to your spouse. It sounds kind of crazy, but it would be just as hard to have a family, have someone who you love so much and not be able to be with them forever.
Here are just a few quotes and a few scriptures about marriage that I like and love!!!
"A strong marriage rarely has two strong people at the same time. It is a husband and wife who take turns being strong for each other in the moments when the other feels weak." -Ashley Willis
"Rules for a Happy Marriage:
1. Never both be angry at the same time.
2. Never yell at each other unless the house is on fire.
3. If one of you has to win an argument, let it be your spouse.
4.If you have to criticize, do it lovingly.
5. Never bring up mistakes from the past.
6. Neglect the whole world rather than each other.
7. Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled.
8. At least once a day say a kind word or pay a compliment to your partner.
9. When you have done something wrong, admit it and ask for forgiveness.
10. It takes two to make a quarrel, and the one in the wrong is usually the one who does the most talking." -Unknown
"You don't marry someone you can live with-You marry the person you cannot live without."
-Unknown
"We simply can't abandon ship every time we encounter a storm in our marriage. Real love is about weathering the storms of live together." -Seth Adam Smith
"Marriage provides an ideal setting for overcoming any tendency to be selfish or self-centered."
-Richard G. Scott
"If you want something to last forever, you treat it differently. You shield it and protect it. You never abuse it. You don't expose it to the elements. You don't make it common or ordinary. If it ever becomes tarnished, You lovingly polish it until it gleams like new. It becomes special because you have made it so, and it grows more beautiful and precious as time goes by." -Elder F. Burton Howard
"None of us marry perfection; we marry potential." -Robert D. Hales
"Marriage & Children are not part of the plan of happiness, it IS the plan of happiness."
-Boyd K. Packer
"Many things are good, many are important, but only a few are essential."-D. Todd Christofferson
"Make it your goal to create a marriage that feels like the safest place on earth." -Greg Smalley
"Peace I leave with you. My peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." John 14:27
If you would like to learn more of what I believe or what the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints stance on marriage is you can email me or visit lds.org or mormon.org to talk with the missionaries! :)
As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, I believe that marriage is between a man and a woman. I also believe that when you are married, you can be sealed for time and all eternity to your spouse. It sounds kind of crazy, but it would be just as hard to have a family, have someone who you love so much and not be able to be with them forever.
Here are just a few quotes and a few scriptures about marriage that I like and love!!!
"A strong marriage rarely has two strong people at the same time. It is a husband and wife who take turns being strong for each other in the moments when the other feels weak." -Ashley Willis
"Rules for a Happy Marriage:
1. Never both be angry at the same time.
2. Never yell at each other unless the house is on fire.
3. If one of you has to win an argument, let it be your spouse.
4.If you have to criticize, do it lovingly.
5. Never bring up mistakes from the past.
6. Neglect the whole world rather than each other.
7. Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled.
8. At least once a day say a kind word or pay a compliment to your partner.
9. When you have done something wrong, admit it and ask for forgiveness.
10. It takes two to make a quarrel, and the one in the wrong is usually the one who does the most talking." -Unknown
"You don't marry someone you can live with-You marry the person you cannot live without."
-Unknown
"We simply can't abandon ship every time we encounter a storm in our marriage. Real love is about weathering the storms of live together." -Seth Adam Smith
"Marriage provides an ideal setting for overcoming any tendency to be selfish or self-centered."
-Richard G. Scott
"If you want something to last forever, you treat it differently. You shield it and protect it. You never abuse it. You don't expose it to the elements. You don't make it common or ordinary. If it ever becomes tarnished, You lovingly polish it until it gleams like new. It becomes special because you have made it so, and it grows more beautiful and precious as time goes by." -Elder F. Burton Howard
"None of us marry perfection; we marry potential." -Robert D. Hales
"Marriage & Children are not part of the plan of happiness, it IS the plan of happiness."
-Boyd K. Packer
"Many things are good, many are important, but only a few are essential."-D. Todd Christofferson
"Make it your goal to create a marriage that feels like the safest place on earth." -Greg Smalley
"Peace I leave with you. My peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." John 14:27
If you would like to learn more of what I believe or what the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints stance on marriage is you can email me or visit lds.org or mormon.org to talk with the missionaries! :)
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