Commitment Quotes

This is for my Family class. We were challenged to find at least 20 quotes and share on social media at least three with sharing our thoughts about them. These are the quotes that I chose to share and my thoughts about commitment.
“Compared with other forms of romantic relationships, marriage involves a higher level of commitment from partners and a stronger future orientation... For these reasons, marriage is likely to have a particularly prominent role in shaping people’s identities and sense of self. The institutional nature of marriage, therefore, combined with the long-term nature of marital bonds, may account for the especially favorable state of well-being among spouses.”
“The final step of making a commitment to marry does involve risk and require greater responsibility, but it must be taken to gain a greater sense of security and oneness in the quality of your relationship. This is why most research clearly establishes that a larger percentage of couples who are married describe their relationship as achieving high levels of romance, sexual enjoyment, and personal satisfaction than the percentage of couples that cohabitation.”
“This first strand of commitment is made from passion, devotion, and resoluteness. It prompts personal sacrifices for the good fo your partner. It holds your partner close to you even when you are apart and elevates his or her importance when you are together.”

Thinking about how several of my relationships have gone, I realize that I need to make more of a commitment to those who I like, care for and even am falling in love with. Committing to someone is a huge step for any person. I’m no exception to that rule. It is definitely hard at times to want to stay committed to someone that you truly care for. But I know that as I stay committed to my partner, the love of my life, my everything, I will be able to have a stronger bond and understanding of them and of us as a couple.

My Story... And How I Came to Know The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is True!!!

Everyone’s story is different. We all come from different walks of life and we each have challenges that were specifically designed for us. I am definitely no exception to that. I have had several trials and several temptations and through all of these things, I always wondered, “Why me?”
For a large portion of my life, a lot has revolved around the Church. And when I say this, I don’t mean it in a negative way, as the church is what helped me to really grow and ask questions for myself. A lot of people have questioned my beliefs and I know a large number of people have watched my actions and my words.
When I was younger, I remember being questioned about why I believed the things that I had been taught my entire life. I would always respond, matter of factly, “Because it’s true.” Well, I got baptized when I was 8 years old, by my own choice. And with full support from my parents! As I got older, my standards, my beliefs, and my values were questioned a little more, especially as each year came and went.
In middle school, all of my elementary friends changed and started to choose to do things how they wanted to, because we each had a little more freedom. And so, with the rest of my classmates, I too, began to change. I don’t know if it was for the better, but I still stood up for the things that I had been taught to believe in, because I really didn’t know what else to believe in at that point. It was something that I could hold onto. In middle school, I learned quite a bit about who I was and I thought long and hard about what things I would like to have come from life.
In high school, I struggled. A Lot!! My freshman year, I chose to be friends with some people who changed how I viewed life and I started to change how I acted and how I was treating my family. I was definitely not happy, but I also knew that I would be able to make my own choices, so that I could learn and know for myself what things I liked. Towards the beginning of the second semester of my freshman year, my best friend from the First Grade passed away from a brain aneurysm and I was completely devastated. He was almost 15 years old and had so much potential and so many opportunities ahead of him. I got really mad at God and started to make choices, where the consequences weren’t helping me get what I wanted, so I would make sure that I did almost everything that I could, without making my parents angry, but that I still got to make my own choices. I started dating a guy my sophomore year and there were a couple of times where I made some choices that I knew would not lead me back to the road of happiness, and I knew that I needed to change. My junior year we got sister missionaries in our congregation at church and I started to go with them to help teach lessons to people who were learning more about the church. I’m so grateful for those two wonderful sisters, because they were what I needed to start changing things around in my life. I wanted to be happy, but I couldn’t find the courage to change, and once those sisters were moved to a new area, I started to hangout with the same people who were taking me away from where I wanted to be. My senior year consisted of a sweet friend dying and I struggled again from the pains of death. I good friend of mine, helped me out a lot at that time. He reminded me that this life isn’t the end and that I would see her again. That she was no longer struggling with things of the world and that she was at home with Heavenly Parents who loved her. He reminded me that those same Heavenly Parents love me too. I wasn’t alone through this.
Once I graduated high school, I made the choice to apply and attend Brigham Young University in Rexburg, Idaho. The year between graduating and starting college, were full of rough patches, as I worked on changing from what I had become, to what I needed to become. My first year of college was hard. I dated a great guy my first semester, but broke up with him because something wasn’t right. It wasn’t him, but it was definitely me. I wasn’t the person that I needed to be, to become a wife or to think about marriage. I didn’t know for myself that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints was true, but I did believe that bits and pieces of the things that I had been taught were true. I came home in April of 2016 and in three short weeks, my aunt passed away. I was still struggling with some things and I started to really struggle with her death. I started making it back to the temple, where we believe that we can find comfort and that through the sacred sealing power from worthy priesthood holders, we can be sealed for time and all eternity as a family. I went at this time to feel the comfort and feel the Savior’s love for me.
About this same time, I was asked to serve at church as the Activity Day leader and work with the younger girls between the ages of 8 and 11 years old. I didn’t know how I was going to do this calling. What do I have to teach these girls? What things can I share with them, that I know to be true? Over the past year and a half of serving as these sweet girls’ leader, I have started to learn that it isn’t always what we have to offer them, but sometimes what they can offer and teach us. These sweet girls helped me to know that I have a Father in Heaven, who loves me and I do love Him too. I have been able to know for myself that Jesus Christ is MY Savior! He died for each of us, that we might be able to return to live with our Father. I know that He died for ME! And He was resurrected as part of our Father’s plan. I know this to be true, and I cannot deny it!!
I know that Heavenly Father has a plan for me, and he has a plan for each of you! He loves each of us beyond all measure!! We might not know why we are being tried and put through certain temptations, but Heavenly Father does and he know that the outcomes will be unlike anything we might expect!! I know that this church is true! I know that the Book of Mormon is another testament of our Savior Jesus Christ and goes hand in hand with the Bible! I know that Joseph Smith is a prophet of God who restored the everlasting gospel to the earth and received the keys to the priesthood. I know that we all are trying to becme like God and that we can and will live with Him again!! I know these things and many other things to be true!
I learned for myself that I am a daughter of a Heavenly King and I have a divine destiny! I know that I can become a better person and that I can have true happiness and peace through His perfect plan!
If you have questions about what I believe or what members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints believe, please contact me! Or if you want to talk with a missionary or a representative for the church, go to Moromon.org! Don’t give up because life is getting hard, because life can and will get better as you come unto Him! I love each of you so much!

The Proclamation to the World: The Family-and Me

Many people have heard about the Proclamation to the World: The Family, but many people have never read it. There are so many glorious truths that come from this sacred proclamation. There are many things that our families and our souls can learn from our beloved prophets. I know that I have learned so many things, just from simply reading and learning and praying for myself.

I know that Jesus Christ died for me, and he died for you! I know that families are meant to be together for Time and All Eternity. We aren't supposed to last just until death, but beyond that so that we are able to spend time with one another in our next life. I know that through the priesthood, I can be blessed by my faithfulness. I know that families are a very sacred part of our Father in Heaven's plan for each of us. He means for each of us to have families.

I know that children are gifts from God. I know that they can bring some of the greatest joy into our lives and I know that we will be blessed for taking care of God's little ones. We have the opportunity to bring little ones in the world and to teach them, so that they can begin to choose between right and wrong.

If you have any questions about what I believe, please leave me a note. If there are questions about what the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and what they believe, feel free to contact an official representative for the church by checking out mormon.org. Either way, I would love to make sure that your questions are answered. I hope you remember that our Father in Heaven loves you and so does our Savior. They want you to come to them, through prayer and through your faith in them.
Thank you all for reading! I love you all!!!

The Benefits and Challenges of Family Recreation

Family recreation and doing things together as a family is such an important part of keeping families together. Families can do things together, but is the whole family enjoying the activity? Sometimes, it's hard to find something that the whole family enjoys. Sometimes, not everyone is going to love the activity, but most of the time, they do enjoy being able to do something with the rest of their family.

My aunt Tisha and I. I went with her every year for Black Friday Shopping since she and my uncle got together. I was really sad that I missed going with them a year and a half ago. Tisha passed away last year on mother's day. I miss her so much!!!

Research has shown that family satisfaction with current levels of leisure involvement is a strong predictor of overall satisfaction with family life, even when accounting for income, marital status, age, and history of divorce. When we are doing things that include our whole family, we are more likely to stick together and push through hard times.

My younger brothers, my parents and I in front of the Idaho Falls Temple. This is the temple that my grandparents got married in. It was wonderful to see and learn more about the place where a part of our family history began.

Another set of research shows that direct positive relationships between family leisure involvement and levels of family functioning. Families who regularly engage in core leisure activities "depicted by common everyday, low-cost, relatively accessible, and often home-based activities that many families do frequently"(Zabriskie & McCormick 2003) such as playing board games or playing catch in the yard, have higher levels of family cohesiveness than those families who do not regularly engage in such activities. Families who participate in balanced leisure activities, "depicted through activities that are generally less common, less frequent, more out of the ordinary, and usually not home based thus providing novel experiences" (Zabriskie & McCormick 2003), such as going to disneyland or on a cruise, have been found to have higher levels of adaptability than families who do not engage in such activities.

On the farm. We were lighting fireworks off to celebrate birthdays and the Fourth of July.

Many family traditions and rituals, such as religious rituals, birthdays, or Christmas, may be labor-intensive for some members of the family. But even though such rituals may be challenging, none were noted for having negative influences. Familial benefits of religious rituals included strengthened relationships, more family togetherness and unity, increased communication, less contention, more kindness, and better parenting. the effort to create these experiences, although difficult, appears to hold meaningful rewards.

At my Uncle and Aunt's wedding. We had three generations here. It was so much fun to have my great-aunts there celebrating with the rest of us.

My family has had lots of different recreational activities that we do. We have my siblings over for dinner, we play lots of different games together, we work together to get things done, we go swimming together and go bowling with each other in the summer time, we sell firework and Christmas trees together, and lots of other things. Over the past few years, we have been getting closer and closer to each other. We no longer fight over the things that we want to do with one another, but instead we compromise between what is going to be the most available.

The day that my youngest brother came home from scout camp. My niece and nephew were so happy and excited to have their uncle Sam home with them.

I'm really grateful for the time that I have had with my family. The closeness that we now have, is something that I don't ever want to give up. It means so much to me to have a close relationship with my amazing family members. I think that as some of our family members have passed away, we will each start having a whole new relationship with those who are still here on this earth.

I think that some of the challenges for trying to plan a family activity is schedules. Whenever I have time to do something with my family members, they already have things planned. But every time they have time, I have homework that I am doing. It is often a challenge to find a good place in all of our busy schedules to have family time. I think that a lot of families get together when somebody is having a baby, when somebody is getting married, or when somebody has passed away. At least, this is the case with my family. It is a great blessing to be able to celebrate and enjoy eachother's company. 

P.S.
Here are a list of things that my family loves to do together, that you might like to try with yours:

• Bike rides
• Watching t.v.
• Going for walks
• Taking pictures
• Swimming
• Shopping
• Wrestling
• Lighting Fireworks
• Gardening
• Listen to music and go for long car rides
• Reading books
• Play any kind of ball
• Play card games

Religion's Role in Families

For centuries, God and religion have played an important role in the daily lives of individuals and families. In a religious community, we learn what it is like to have a family within a faith/religion. The dimension of a religious community encompasses and includes "support, involvement, and relationships grounded within a congregation." (Dollahite, Marks, & Goodman, 2004)

The Idaho Falls Idaho Temple

In a recent interview-based study, a remarried mother reflected: "I've been married before, and my first husband was not saved, and he wasn't interested in being saved. That goes way back to what the Lord said about being equally yoked. I was at the church, but there was not a lot of support there from him, because as a nonbeliever he thought I was giving to much time... We weren't serving together, we weren't going together, and we would always feel some type of rift."

Often times, when one person from a relationship is not interested in being a part of their significant other's faith/religion, there are fights, arguments, and disputes about going to any church. It is a great help when both parents are religious, but it can help even more when the religion is shared by both parents. "If a faith is shared, then children see that the parents are doing it (going to church)... But if a house has a parent that is not going, that causes the children to have a misunderstanding of what your are really supposed to do.

PRAYER
Over the past 15 years, prayer has received increased attention in connection with marriage. A study by M. H. Butler and colleagues produced several findings including: participants' statements of belief that prayer has enhanced experiences of emotional validation; promoted accountability toward deity; de-escalated negative interactions, contempt, hostility, and emotional reactivity; enhanced relationship behavior; facilitated partner empathy; increased self-change focus; encouraged reconciliation and problem-solving; and promoted a sense of guidance from God.

President Monson with his wife Frances and daughter Ann.

President Thomas S. Monon shared the following counsel that he and his sweet wife receive the day that they were sealed for time and all eternity: "May I offer you newlyweds a formula which will ensure that any disagreement you may have will last no longer than one day? Every night kneel by the side of your bed. One night, Brother Monson, you offer the prayer, aloud, on bended knee. The next night you, Sister Monson, offer the prayer, aloud, on bended knee. I can assure you that any misunderstanding that develops during the day will vanish as you pray. you simply can't pray together and retain any but the best of feelings toward one another."

Prayer in my life and the lives of my family members has been a big blessing. My younger brother, David, recently had an experience with prayer that made a life long impact on him. He was having a hard time knowing whether or not he was supposed to go on a mission for our church (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints). He had had a meeting with our stake president and came home to find himself alone and able to pray about what God wanted him to do. He got done praying and felt prompted to turn to Doctrine and Covenants 31:3, which says "Lift up your heart and rejoice, for the hour of your mission is come; and your tongue shall be loosed, and you shall declare glad tidings of great joy unto this generation." He knew then, that God wanted him to serve a mission. Being obedient to the answer that was given to him, he started his mission papers and receive his mission call to the Ecuador Quito Mission, reporting to the Bogota Columbia Missionary Training Center on May 3. It was exactly what he needed and it was the answer that he was looking for. I am very excited that he is going on a mission, and I know that he will be such a blessing to the people that he will be serving, in the Lord's name.

My brother David

REPENTANCE & FORGIVENESS
Repentance and forgiveness is described as "two sides of the same coin", because these two sacred topics are often talked about together. A researcher shared that "Forgiveness does not occur in a relationship. It occurs within the forgiver." I believe that this is true. Often times, the other person may not even know that they did anything wrong, or they didn't do something that offended you. We often find something, usually little things, to hold grudges at people that we should be showing love and kindness to. Sometimes, people are rude and they mean to hurt you, but we need to forgive them. Sometimes it takes a long time to forgive people when they trespass against us, but we need to be quick to forgive because we never know when our last day will be.

We learn in Mark 11:25-26, "And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses."
We have been commanded that we need to forgive. God can forgive anyone that he wants to, but we need to forgive often.

Since I was very little and in primary (the junior Sunday school in the LDS church) I have learned about what the steps of repentance are. These steps are very easy and can really help with anything that you need to change and repent of.

Steps for Repentance

1. Recognize the sin/mistake. We admit to ourselves that we have done something wrong.

2. Feel sorrow for the sin/mistake. Feeling sorrowful, we are humble and submissive before God, and we come to Him with a broken heart and contrite spirit.

3. Forsake the sin. We stop committing the sin and pledge to never do it again.

4. Confess. We should confess all our sins to the Lord. (For those who are LDS) In addition, we must confess serious sins that might affect our standing in the church to the proper ecclesiastical authority.

5. Make restitution. Insofar as possible, we make right any wrong that we have done.

Through both forgiveness and repentance, we are able to learn how to accept the Atonement of our Savior, Jesus Christ. Through accepting the Atonement, we are able to fully heal for ourselves and for others. Elder Richard G. Scott explained how faith in Christ brings about the ultimate healing:
"The beginning of healing requires childlike faith in the unalterable fact that our Father in Heaven loves you and has supplied a way to heal. His beloved Son, Jesus Christ, laid down His life to provide that healing. But there is no magic solution, no simple balm to provide healing, nor is there an easy path to the complete remedy. The cure requires profound faith in Jesus Christ and in his infinite capacity to heal."

I know that the role that religion has in lives can be life changing. I have seen how people have changed, how they have been able to find a change because of the things that they are able to learn. I know that Jesus Christ is my Savior and that He died so that I would be able to live again. I know that I have a Father in Heaven who loves me very much, but that he also loves each of you very much also.

Blessings Come to Families who Work Together

Some of the most successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of work. Many families work together to keep things together, they work together to get things done. In Chapter 21, we learn "The reason family-centered work brings blessings and salvation is so obvious in common experience that it has become obscure: Family work provides endless opportunities to recognize and fill others' needs. It thus teaches us to love and serve one another, inviting us to be like Jesus Christ." When we are serving each other, we learn things about other people that we probably wouldn't have known. We can learn about what they have been up to, what their likes and dislikes are, and how we can provide more service to them.

Elder Neal A. Maxwell observed, "The divine attributes of love, mercy, patience submissiveness, meekness, purity... cannot be developed inn the abstract. These require the clinical experiences... Nor can these attributes be developed in a hurry." Through work, and serving our family members, we can become more like our Savior, Jesus Christ.
Parents do not need to worry about having a perfect system for doing chores. Work that unifies hearts is "not after the manner of men." Individuals and families, with diligence and through inspiration, can discover better ways to solve their earthly challenges than anything a leader or so-called expert could impose. We can take ideas from other people, but we don't have to use their system, we need to find what is going to work for us as parents and what will work for our children.
Parents who are wanting their children to work, should seek an approach based on "attentive love". Parents may often find themselves easily convinced to fall back on child-rearing. Attentive love asks "What is the child telling me through this behavior?" and "How can I help my child so that he/she is pulled closer to the family, so that he/she is not pushed away?" Of course, in any household, loving feelings run up and down, but caring parents can strive to manifest love as the expected norm. Essayist Wendell Berry tells how daily habits of caring and serving eventually carry us beyond the difficulties of life into a manifestation of love. "Our marriages, kinships, friendships, neighborhoods, and all our forms and acts of homemaking are the rites by which we solemnize and enact our union with the universe... They give the word "love" its only chance to mean, for only they can give it a history, a community, and a place. Only in such ways can love becomes flesh and do its worldly work."

We sell Christmas trees every year from Black Friday to the 15th of December

All family members are able to assist in family work. Children can learn to take responsibility for their part in family work. The Lord teaches us that we have an obligation to see the needs of others and respond to them in loving ways. The Lord has high expectations, for He knows our capabilities. Likewise, parents should have high expectations for their children. We establish these expectaitons in caring ways, but children need to know their particiation in family work is not optional.

Mothers set the household tone for family work. "The problem is not so much the presence or absence of a 'work ethic' as [it is] the meaning of work and the ways it links, or fails to link, individuals to one another." Mothers do so much to get everything done that might need to be done plus so much more. I have seen my mom get so many things done in one day. She gets dishes done everyday, makes a meal for us most nights of the week, does laundry, watches my niece and nephews, gets bills paid, does all sorts of cleaning, but she also drives everyone around, picks me up from work, makes sure that we are still getting to all of our activities that have been scheduled and so much more.

Fathers set the example for any and all participation in household chores. When the father complains about having to help with things around the house, the children will also. But when he does it with a willing heart, the children will be more willing to help out with the chores. My dad is a really good example of this. He hasn't ever complained about helping my mom around the house, but he does say something when my brothers complain about having to help with a small chore. I love my dad and for the love that he has for helping my mom.
Being a part of a family, means that I still need to do my part-in and out of the house. I do a lot to help my parents out because they have already worked so hard to make me the person who I am today. I like to try to relieve some of their duties, so that they can find sometime for themselves.

The Sacredness of Parenthood-The Joys of Motherhood

"May each of us treasure this truth:... One cannot remember mother and forget God. Why? Because these two sacred persons, God and mother, partners in creation, in love, in sacrifice, in service, are as one."

From the beginning of time, mothers have played an important role on how children are raised. In many different societies around the world, mothers have played the role of everything. She has been a teacher, the nurse, the caretaker, the one to discipline, the guidance counselor, and many more roles in our every day lives. Our moms often don't take times for themselves. They do more than anybody thinks. 

Who wants to work 24/7, 365 days a year, with no pay? Who wants this type of job. I don't know of anybody who truly thinks about all of the things that moms do, but moms work harder than any other worker that I know of. They help with homework and projects. They make sure that you get to your football practice or dance recital on time. Seeing how much work mothers have done for each of us is unbelievable. 

Recently, I was given the opportunity to be at the birth of my sweet nephew. I couldn't believe how hard it actually is to give birth to a child. You carry a child for 40 weeks and then the pain of having them can sometimes be so unbearable. Often times, you don't get much sleep in the hospital, causing sleep deprivation and then you go home and you have these little people who run all over you and they take over your bed and your food. The above video is a job interview which includes all of the qualifications of a mother.

Me, with my niece and new nephew

Now, I personally don't think that being a mother is actually that bad. Yes, it is a lot of work, but it is definitely worth it. Being a mom means that you get to watch little pieces of your heart walk and move and laugh outside of your body. You get to feel the love that the Savior and that our Father in heaven has for each of us, because you have this joyous job. Being a mom can be one of the most amazing jobs a woman can have.
Being able to watch these darling children grow up is a blessing! There is nothing like being able to teach children about the gospel and the blessings that can come from being faithful in the gospel. Teaching and helping with kids who are learning and wanting to know more is the most wonderful thing ever!
I have never felt like I am really good at anything. I have a really hard time thinking about being a mother to anyone because I am not married and I am 20 years old. I was recently called into be the activity day leader at church. I work with girls from the age of 8 until they turn 12. It wasn't until then, that I started to grow as a future mother. I have been learning just like they are learning. I have felt a new kind of love that I have never felt before and it is because of Christ's love and example for me, that I have started to learn to love these girls as my own. They have blessed my life and they continue to show me that they love me too.
Motherhood is such a beautiful thing and even though I don't have my own children yet, I know that someday I will. They will be sealed to me for time and all eternity, through the good things and the bad things. I am so grateful for all of the amazing mothers I have to look up to. I have my great-grandmothers, my grandmothers, my mom, my future mother-in-law, my sister, my sister-in-law, my cousins, my aunts, all of the leaders that I have ever had and all of the amazing women that I have in my life.

The Sacredness of Parenthood-Fatherhood

Becoming a parent can be a scary thing, but it can also be one of the most beautiful and joyful journeys that we can experience in life. I understand that becoming a father can be overwhelming. There are many people who have great relationships with their fathers, but there are also people who have no relationship or terrible relationships with their fathers.

My brother-in-law with my nephew and niece.

Fathers play an important part in a child's life. When you grow up without a father, you don't get taught a lot of important things about life. Often times you have more than one male role model, but often get mixed signals of how a man should act. Last semester, I took a survey about families and I asked how people's relationships were with their father. Many of the 155 people who participated said "Good" and "Great", but some people said "Not so great. We fought a lot while I was growing up." Some of the answers that I got that people elaborated on were some of the following: "Strained. We did not really connect."; "He was a good provider and role model. I knew he loved me but he was not overly affectionate."; "Good until he started drinking."; "Our relationship was full of respect, he listened to me and I listened to him... Or took his advice, I wasn't the perfect child... But when it mattered I listened and obeyed. He was the definite enforcer when we needed it."; "He was mostly absent. I could not count on him."
What can we learn from these peoples views on their relationships with their fathers? Not everyone is going to have the exact same type of relationship with their father. My relationship is going to be very different from my best friends relationship with her father, or even my siblings relationship with our father. In doing this survey, I learned a lot and I cried a lot. I'm really grateful for the eye opening results that I was able to get from my friends and my family members. I knew when I opened up the survey that I would be able to get information from people of all faiths and people with different backgrounds from myself.
As a member of the LDS faith, I have been taught that even when you do not have a father in your home, you always have a father of the area you live and you also have our Heavenly Father. A primary song Fathers, holds a very special place in my heart.

1.The father of our home
leads our family
With wisdom's light in all that's right;
My father's good to me.

2. The father of our ward
tends with loving care
Each member's needs with kindly deeds;
Our bishop's always there.

3. And now we'll sing great praise
and reverently recall
The Holy One who gave His Son,
The Father of us all.

Chorus
Fathers are so special
with a very special love.
They watch us and protect us.
They guide us and direct us
Back to our home above.

This song has brought me comfort at some of my darkest hours. Those moments when I was away from my dad, or when I didn't know my bishop very well, I always knew that I had my Father in Heaven right there beside me to guide me back in his love that he has for me. Knowing that no matter where I am headed, I am able to always have at least one father with me at all times, in all things, and in all places.

My dad and I facetiming!!

I want to share some examples of great fathers who have impacted my life so much. The first is my dad, Eugene. My dad is one of the most selfless people that I know. He cares about everyone so much and would do anything for anyone. He is somebody who is willing to do what the Lord needs him to do. He is hard working and provides for his family so that we can all be happy. He sacrifices a lot for the sake of his children and his grandchildren. He makes time for us and works with us with many things, helping us to understand what it is that we are doing. I was extremely blessed to be born into his family and have his as my father.

Two other examples of great fathers are my older brother and my brother-in-law. My older brother has one 9-month-old son. He has sacrificed a great deal and is ready to sacrifice anything to protect his family. He is such a great dad and loves to spend time with his little guy.
My brother-in-law is such a great dad and loves babies. His oldest just turned 3 and he has helped to show him how great it is to be a helper with his younger siblings and to his mom. His little girl is a little over a year old and she is a daddy's girl. She gets so excited when he comes home and she gets to see how a girl or a woman should be treated. His youngest is a week old. He just loves that baby up. He is very well taken care of. Josh has just been a blessing to our family.

My grandpa at Christmas time!

My grandfather, is my last example that I would like to share. My grandfather has been there to support each of us in everything we do. He was so excited when he learned that I would get to try skiing. He has encouraged each of us to do what makes us happy and to have fun with our choices that we are making. He wants us to have fun in life, but to learn to accept everything as a blessing. He has shared his great love of motorcycles and riding with each of us grandkids. He has shown that life can be fun, but that we need to remember who we are while we are living life to the fullest capacity and through our daily trials and hardships.
President Ezra Taft Benson taught that "God established that fathers are to preside in the home. Fathers are to provide love, teach and direct."
It has been suggested that "relationship work involves both the sense of feeling emotionally and physically connected with a son or daughter and the father's efforts to create and maintain healthy bonds between the child, himself, and others in the child's environment."
You never know what is going to happen with life. Life can be cut short and you can lose people. It is hard to lose somebody who you love and care for. It is even harder to lose a parent.

Procreation and Fertility

My sweet boy!!!

Having children is and can be a great joy in many people's lives. Many people have different questions about the things that they are dealing with-whether it is having kids or not being able to get pregnant. President Gordon B. Hinkley said "If you are married, you and your spouse should discuss your sacred responsibility to bring children into the world and nurture them in righteousness."
To start out, having children and babies is one of the biggest blessings and one of the best decisions a couple can make. Babies are a beautiful creation from our Father in Heaven. Deciding to have children with your spouse can be one of the most wonderful and joyous decisions to be made in a marriage. In The Church Handbook of Instructions, we are taught the following statement, "The decision as to how many children to have and when to have them is extremely intimate and private and should be left between the couple and the Lord. Church members should not judge one another in this matter." The word private is one that needs some discussion. When this decision is happening, it should be strictly between you, your spouse, and the Savior. In this sense, spouses should be careful in discussing these matters with others. Sometimes it is a temptation to discuss such matters more with a parent, sibling, or friend than with one's spouse. The principle in this is that family members should not pry, judge, nor interfere in a couple's decisions about the timing and the amount of children to be had.

My older brother Jacob with his son Oliver!

Elder Dallin H. Oaks counseled "How many children should a couple have? all they can care for! Of course, to care for children means more than simply giving them life. Children must be loved, nurtured, taught, fed, clothed, housed, and well started in their capacities to be good parents themselves." This is everything we need to be doing as parents, but we also have to do a little bit more than just these things.
Brother Homer Ellsworth, an LDS gynecologist, relates a Church president's experience of visiting his daughter, after her miscarriage. As a mother of eight children, in her forties, she asked him if she could stop having children now. He replied, "Don't ask me. That decision is between you, your husband, and your Father in Heaven." This father knows that he is a part of the important decision making process for his daughter and her husband.

From the very beginning of time, we have been commanded as children of God, to "be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it" (Genesis 1:28). Caring for and nurturing infants, toddlers, young children, and teenagers enables mothers and fathers to obtain greater "faith, hope, charity, and love" (D&C 4:5) as well as "virtue, knowledge, temperance, patience, brotherly kindness, godliness, humility, [and] diligence" (D&C 4:6).
There are a few different reasons that fertility rates could be dropping: decreasing economic value of children, a fear of overpopulation, government pressure, remaining childless, and a much wider usage of contraceptive. Because of these different things that are causing fertility rates to drop, there are also the consequences of low fertility rates. There is a higher depopulation rate, which means that this generation won't have the same amount of young people to take care of the elderly. Another consequence is the amount of aging people. The older a person gets, the harder it can be to get pregnant.
There are pros and cons to every decision and having children is the exact same way. There are pros to having children, but there are also cons to having children. There are potential individual and familial consequences, that affect more than just one person or group of people. Some consequences for a couple who forego the stage of having children, or maybe even having children later in their marriage, may see the affects in the stability and the satisfaction in their marriage. Married couples who choose to be childless possibly may be more likely to separate and divorce when marital satisfaction wanes. There is an idea about people who "stay together for the sake of the children". This idea is often found to be true.

My little Princess Lena-my sisters daughter

The consequences that we can see in children who grow up without brothers and sisters, cousins, aunts and uncles, without nieces and nephews have a less than optimal environment for development. Children who have grown up without these relationships, often times find themselves without a richer context in social development. "Compared to parents with three children, parents with one child might not allow their child to take the reasonable risks associated with learning about the world." (Wattenberg, B. J. (2004). Fewer: How the new demography of depopulation will shape our future. Chicago: Ivan R. Dee.)
The individual consequences that we can see is that choosing to remain childless can affect adult development. Erik Erikson's middle adulthood (approximately ages 35-65) psychosocial development, the required developmental task is generativity, or making meaningful contribution to the next generation. Generally, this is achieved through bearing and raising children.
The choice is yours. You choose whether you have children. It is between a husband and a wife. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints has some guidelines on using personal fertility control.
Remember to include your partner in your decisions, whether that is getting pregnant or waiting to have children.

An Enduring, Healthy Marriage

Husband and Wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other.

In September of 1976, President Spencer W. Kimball delivered the following statement at a devotional to Brigham Young University students, stating, 

"While marriage is difficult, and discordant and frustrated marriages are common, yet real, lasting happiness is possible, and marriage can be more an exultant ecstasy than the human mind can conceive. This is within the reach of every couple, every person."

All relationships can be difficult, just as marriage and life in general can be difficult. Many people think that once there is a few problems, those problems can't be fixed. I took a survey last year asking people what their family life was like. One of the questions that I asked was what their parents relationship was like. The results from the 155 people who completed my survey varied. Many people said their relationship was "Good", "Average", "Divorced", and "Alright". Some answers were more in depth of how these individuals viewed the relationships that their parents had with one another. One person said, "They were best friends. Not perfect, but they were there for each other." Another person said, "My parents love each other and despite occasional disagreements they are able to talk things out. They still love each other and they work hard to strengthen the family." These two people shared that their parents had a healthy marriage and relationship. One person shared "They were good at first, but they grew apart and eventually had a rather nasty divorce." This shows that not everyone can have a similar experience, and some marriages are rather healthy to begin with, but can turn cold over time.

My sister Katie and her husband Josh-March 2013

In the Successful Marriages and Families book, used in my Family class, we learn about some foundational processes for an enduring, healthy marriage. The first foundational process is a personal commitment to the marriage covenant. Elder Bruce C. Hafen clarified the nature of a covenant relationship by sharing the following: 

"When troubles come, the parties to a contractual marriage seek happiness by walking away. They marry to obtain benefits and will stay only as long as they're receiving what they bargained for. But when troubles come to a covenant marriage, the husband and wife work them through. They marry to give and to grow, bound by covenants to each other, to the community, and to God. Contract companions each give 50 percent. But covenant companions each give 100 percent. Enough and to spare, each gives enough to cover any shortfall by the other."

I feel as though when a person makes a covenant with another person, they are expecting their relationship to last longer than at the drop of a hat. People should want their marriages to last longer than a fight. They should fight for their marriage more than most people do. 

Elder David A. Bednar described how Jesus Christ should be the focus in a marriage. He shares,

The Covenant Marriage Relationship-Elder David A. Bednar (2006)

"The Lord Jesus Christ is the focal point in a covenant marriage relationship. Please notice how the Savior is positioned at the apex of this triangle, with a woman at the base in one corner and a man at the base of the other corner. Now consider what happens in the relationship between the man and the woman as they steadily "Come unto Christ" and strive to be "perfected in Him" (Moroni 10:32). Because of and through the Redeemer, the man and woman come closer together."

 There are three main marital processes that can help to nurture the commitment that we have in our covenant marriage. There needs to be an intentional personal dedication. To nurture their covenant commitments to one another and God, couples will wisely make a decision to be intentionally and personally dedicated to their marriage. This involves a commitment to sacrifice for and organize one's life around your spouse; it also means a willingness to change any and all behaviors and attitudes for the good of the relationship. This might involve learning to resolve differences in a more healthy way, overcoming tendencies toward impatient listening, moderating unrealistic expectations, spending an evening alone together each week, or resolving personal problems. It has been observed by marriage scholar Blaine Fowers that "...One of the basic ways for a person to have a good marriage is to be a good person."
Another marital process is exclusive cleaving and unity. The Lord declared in D&C 42:22 "Thou shalt love thy wife with all they thy heart, and shalt cleave unto her and none else." President Spencer W. Kimball taught:

My parents in Salt Lake City-April 2016

"The words none else eliminate everyone and everything. The spouse then becomes preeminent in the life of the husband and wife, and neither social life nor occupational life nor political life nor any other interest nor person nor thing shall ever take precedence over the companion spouse."

The third process is to practice spiritual patterns. Couples who practice their faith together generally have less conflict, are more likely to reach a mutually satisfying resolution if there is conflict, and are more likely to remain committed to each other and the marriage when a conflict does occur. In 2002, President Kimball taught,

"When a husband and wife go together frequently to the holy temple, kneel in prayer together in their home with their family, go hand in hand to their religious meetings, keep their lives wholly chaste-mentally and physically-so that their whole thoughts and desires and loves are all centered in the one being, their companion, and both work together for the upbuilding of the kingdom of God, then happiness is at its pinnacle."

The second foundational process is Love and Friendship. True marital love emerges from profound friendship. We learn from Gottman and Silver, after they surveyed 25 years of research that "Happy marriages are based on a deep friendship...a mutual respect for and enjoyment of each other's company." Elder Marlin K. Jensen emphasized "...A relationship between a man and a woman that begins with friendship and then ripens into romance and eventually marriage will usually become an enduring, eternal friendship." A few ideas for nurturing our love and friendship in marriage are: get in sync with your partner's love preferences, talk as friends, respond to bids mad for a connection, and set goals for some couple interaction.
Our third foundational process is to have positive interactions with one another. Positive emotions and feelings towards your spouse are vital and key to a healthy marriage. When negative emotions are occurring frequently and are allowed to deepen, they can threaten your marriage. President Gordon B. Hinkley stated the following:

"I have witnessed much of the best and much of the worst in marriage... Faultfinding replaces praise. When we look for the worst in anyone, we will find it. But if we will concentrate on the best, that element will grow until it sparkles."

Try the following activity, with your spouse, your partner, or your family.
Focus on positive qualities by making and sharing lists of the things they admire and appreciate about each other. These things can be personal traits (She's intelligent, witty), talents (he's a good listener), something you especially like about him or her (I love the way she laughs), a feature of your relationship that you like (I like how we seem to finish each others thoughts), or something positive your spouse has done (he rubbed my feet when I was tired). Doing this activity doesn't ignore the negative; it is an active decision to focus on the positive.
From the list you made, choose two or three qualities and rehearse them silently in your mind. Put them on an index card and in places where you can see them and think about them, such as on your car dashboard, in your front pocket or purse, or on your desk. Do this daily for up to two weeks. Rotate different qualities from the list and repeat the activity. This way couples can override the temptations to be negative toward one another. Couples who nurture their fondness and admiration for one another in this way are better able to accept each others flaws and weaknesses and prevent them from threatening their relationship. (Gottman, J.M. & Silver, N. (1999). The seven principles for making marriage work. New York: Crown Publishers.)

My cousin Ether and his wife Rebecca on their wedding day at Winter Quarters-2012

The fourth process is accepting influence from one's spouse. Elder Russell M. Nelson taught, "Husbands and wives, learn to listen, and listen to learn from one another." Under this process, there are two points that are focused upon. The first is sharing influence in all family affairs. A part of the recipe for a happy, healthy marriage (and a sturdy marriage foundation) is for both partners to share equal ownership and influence in all family affairs. The second is about ways to accept influence. We can accept influence by turning to our spouse for advice, being open to his or her ideas, listening to and considering his or her opinions, learning from our spouse, showing respect during disagreements, recognizing points we both agree on, compromising, showing trust in our spouse and being sensitive to his or her feelings.
Our fifth process is respectfully handling differences and solving problems. Some the skills needed to handle these differences that every couple will have and solving them together as a couple are as follows: prevention; eliminating destructive patterns; becoming calm; discussing issues softly, gently, and privately; making and accepting repair attempts; soothing one's self and each other and reaching a consensus.
The final process is continuing courtship through the years. President David O. McKay taught, "I should like to urge continued courtship, and apply this to grown people. Too many couples have come to the altar of marriage looking upon the marriage ceremony as the end of courtship instead of the beginning of an eternal courtship." President James E. Faust taught, In the enrichings of marriage, the big things are the little things. There must be constant appreciation for each other and a thoughtful demonstration of gratitude. A couple must encourage and help each other grow. Marriage is a joint quest for the good, the beautiful, and the divine."
One last quote from Spencer W. Kimball. He taught that "many couples permit their marriages to become stale and their love to grow cold like old bread or worn-out jokes or cold gravy."

An Equal Partnership in Families Between Men and Women

Many people throughout the world wonder why women cannot be equal to men. In fact many people have been protesting and going to women's marches for several weeks. But has anybody ever tried to make it so that women and men felt like they were equals in their partnerships, or tried to teach them that we have all been equal from the beginning.
Equality is all to often used to mean an "identity"-that is, two equal things must be completely identical to one another. What two things are 100% alike? Nothing that I know of. We have been taught since we were little, that no two leaves or snowflakes, or people are exactly alike. Such usage represents a fallen and harmful understanding of equality that is given by Lucifer, who is over passionate about everybody being "just like himself". (2 Nephi 2:27)

Joseph Smith and Emma Hale Smith are also two people who I think worked together as equal partners.

Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin taught "All of Heavenly Father's children are different in some degree, yet each has his own beautiful sound that adds depth and richness to the whole". In my Successful Marriages & Families book, it is shared about things that we believe to be true both here and in Zion about equality of men and women: equal in blessings; equal in power; intelligence, wisdom; dignity; respect; giving counsel; giving consent; agency; value; potential; authority; exalted fullness; virtue; spirituality; spiritual gifts; equal in temporal things in Zion; and equal heirs with Christ.
We learn from Elder Earl C. Tingey, a former member of the seventy, "You must not misunderstand what the Lord meant when Adam was told he was to have a helpmeet. A helpmeet is a companion suited to or equal to us. We walk side by side withe a helpmeet, not one before us or behind the other. A helpmeet results in an absolute equal partnership between a husband and a wife. Eve was to be equal to Adam as a husband and wife are to be equal to each other."

Adam & Eve

Many people don't understand how equal partnership and stewardship should go. Family stewardships should be understood in terms of their responsibilities-obligations to one's spouse, not power over one's spouse. "In some cultures, tradition places a man in a role to dominate, control, and regulate all family affairs. That is not the way of the Lord. In some places the wife is almost owned by her husband, as if she were another of his personal possessions. That is a cruel, mistaken vision of marriage encouraged by Lucifer that every priesthood holder must reject. It is founded on the false premise that a man is somehow superior to a woman. Nothing could be farther from the truth." (Richard G. Scott)
Many people believe many different things about how women and men are not equal, nor should they ever be. I don't understand why a person would believe that. We know that when we get married, we are getting married hopefully for the same reason. We shouldn't be getting married if there is another idea in our minds that will take us away from the path that Jesus Christ would have us be on.
In my own life, one couple that I see as treating people equally is my parents. My dad is so sweet and he loves my mom so much. You can see it when they interact with one another. There isn't anything that my dad can do or does, that he won't let my mom do. If she wants to do something, than he lets her. He wants her to be able to have any experience that she wants. But my mom is the same way. If my dad wants to do something, she lets him do it. They make decisions together and they work things out together.

My mom and dad in front of the Salt Lake Temple

What an Eternal Family Means to Me: The Plan of Salvation

First off, what is The Plan of Salvation? The Plan of Salvation is also known as God's plan of happiness. We learn about who we are, where we came from, and where we are going after this life. We learn more in depth about this special plan on the LDS website under The Plan of Salvation. We learn that God is our father, we lived with God before we came to this earth, earth life is a part of God's plan, Jesus Christ is the way back to living with God again, and we are able to live with God again after this life.

The Plan of Salvation

God is our loving father in heaven. He is perfect in His love, wisdom, care, and concern for us. He knows each of us on an individual level and he loves each of us individually-more than we can comprehend. He wants us to find our own happiness, but he hopes that the happiness we choose brings us back to Him. Do you know why he is our Father? He made us in His image. We look just like he does, making us His spirit children.
Before we came to this earth life, we lived with God in the pre-eart life with all of our spirit brothers and spirit sisters, and with our Mother in heaven. Many people don't know or have not thought about it, but we do have a mother in heaven. God gave each of us the gift of agency. We each made our first choice to follow His plan and come to this earth.

Earth life is an important part of God's plan for us. We came to earth and were born, forgetting our pre-earth life, meaning we live by faith, rather than by our memory of God. We were promised that we would be able to have His Spirit guide us and strengthen us, so each time that we feel the quiet comfort of His Spirit, we know that it is God showing us that he loves us and cares about us. While on this earth, it is up to us to make our own choices, and distinguish what is right and what is wrong. We can achieve happiness and become more like our Father in Heaven. God loves each of us and has provided a way for us to stay connected to Him through the power of prayer, reading our scriptures, and listening to the prophets counsel.
When we are following God's plan, we learn more about what He wants for each of us as His spirit children. Our life didn't start when we were born, it started long before that and it won't end when we die, because we keep living as spirits. Our lives have direction through our Father's plan and it helps us from wandering through our earthly lives, wondering about where we came from, we we are, and what we are going to work towards. Following this simple plan, we are promised "immortality and eternal life," or an unending happiness with God, and our families in heaven.
Being physically separated from our Father in Heaven, we are tempted by Satan, who just like we are, is a spirit son of our Heavenly Father. We can drift away from God and it can be difficult to not sin. Because God knew that we would sin, he knew that there had to be a Savior, a Redeemer to take the sins of the world. Jesus Christ is our way back to our Father in Heaven. In our pre-earth council, Jesus Christ volunteered to come to earth to be our Savior. When we believe in Jesus Christ, follow his teachings, and repent when we commit sins, His Atonement, or sacrifice, can wash us clean of our sins and make us worthy to return to God's presence. Because of Adam and Eve, we could feel death, but because of our Savior, Jesus Christ, we are able to overcome physical death. We can have perfected bodies and become like Christ and like our Father in Heaven when we do our part. We are simply not saved because we get baptized or because we simply say that we believe in Jesus Christ, but it is upon the works that we do upon this earth. Our good works not only prepares us for our lives in heaven, but it can bless us immensely in this earthly life as well. We learn in Doctrine & Covenants 137:9 that our judgement is not only about our works, but it is also what is in our hearts. "For I, the Lord, will judge all men according to their works, according to the desire of their hearts." We also learn that "For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also." (James 2:26) Knowing these things, we know that Jesus Christ is not only our spirit brother, but he is also our friend. He is our perfect example, our teacher, our advocate with the Father, and he is our Savior and Redeemer.

The Christus-taken in April 2016

Knowing that we came to this earth to grow, learn and be tested, we can make our own personal choices. We know that we can return to live with God again. It is all about choices and the choices that we make in this life will determine our next life. We can choose to stay on the straight and narrow, or we can choose to go off course, and not follow God's plan. One of the best parts of our Heavenly Father's plan is that all the happiness and satisfaction we get from learning new things and all the love we develop within our families will go with us to the next life. The next life will be similar to this life, without the pains and the trials that we may face on the earth. Contrary to many representations of heaven, we won't be sitting and floating in the clouds, gazing at God's face for the eternities. We have more opportunities for learning more, growing closer to our families, and being able to challenge ourselves to our highest potential. It is always sad, hard, and challenging to lose a loved one, at any age, but it is a blessing to know that their spirits live on past this life. After this life, our spirits go on to the next phase, just before judgement and eternal life. Those spirits who did not accept or were not taught the gospel of Jesus Christ, are able to learn and choose for themselves. Once the second coming happens, our bodies are perfected and our spirits reunite with our bodies. We will go through judgement, where God and Jesus Christ judge the things that we did and reward us according to the things that we did on this.

Salt Lake City Temple-take in April 2016

Knowing that someday, I will be able to have my own family, it means a lot to know that I will be able to be sealed for not only time (this life until death) but for all of eternity (what many people feel is the afterlife). Time and all of eternity is a long period of time. Many people don't understand why we would want not only time, but forever also. Being with family can be hard enough sometimes.
A story of a set of missionaries were being fed by a young man and his family in a different country. These two young elder started to share this glorious message of eternal families with this young family. When they talked about being sealed together as a family forever, the wife said "I can't stand my husband most of the time as it is. What makes you think I would be interested in being stuck with him for a longer period of time? More time than I already have to. One of us just has to die and that will be the end of us. I don't know if I actually want to be stuck with him longer."
Many people believe that marriage is just for the here and now, a simple commitment where it doesn't matter what happens. Many weddings take place every year with the following vows being shared, or vows that are very similar.
"I, (your name) take (their name), as my wedded partner, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part."
Who wants to know that their relationship could be ended so easily. Who wants to know that they will never see their spouse, their children, or anyone else, all because they weren't married at the right place, or by someone holding the proper priesthood authority.We believe that we can receive an eternal family by being married in the temple which is a house of God, by a worthy priesthood leader who holds the sacred sealing keys. President Gordon B. Hinkley reiterated the doctrine concerning eternal marriages and families in 1995. "...The divine plan of happiness enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave. Sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy temples make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally." Because of the Plan of Salvation, we really can have an eternal marriage and an eternal family.

My nephew Tommy, helping my Sister with putting flowers on family graves.

President Ezra Taft Benson also taught about the importance of temple marriages and the eternal and spiritual aspect it has on our lives. "The patriarchal order is an order of family government where a man and woman enter into a covenant with God-just as Adam and Eve-to be sealed for eternity, to have posterity, and to do the will and work of God throughout their mortality."
The blessings of a new life is just beyond this world. I can't express how much love I have for little babies and their first step towards living with their Father again. I enjoy having my sweet little niece and my amazing nephews around. I'm so excited for when my next nephew comes and I'm even more excited for the day that I can become a mom and help my own children on the path back to their Father in heaven.

I cannot wait for the happy and joyous reunion when I can see my loved ones again. I know that they are with their loved ones, they aren't in pain anymore, and they are able to be taught the gospel of Jesus Christ. I know that our Father's plan is a plan full of justice and mercy. He is a loving Father, who wants what is best for His children.

>This is the last picture taken as a family on my dad's side of the family. In it are my parents-Eugene & Jennifer; my sister Katie-her husband Josh & their son Thomas; my brother Jacob; myself; my younger three brothers-David, Joe, & Sam; my Uncle James-his wife Jamie & their little boy Judah; my uncle Andrew-his wife, Tisha & their daughter Olivia; my uncle Richard & his wife Jessica; & my aunts Macheal & Linda
\/ At uncle James wedding: My grandmother Roberta; my uncle Larry; my dad Eugene; and my uncles James, Andrew, & Richard. My grandmother died a year later from colon cancer.