Abuse in Families

Think about what you are saying to other people.

Abuse can happen in any family. Abuse happens more often than people think it does. Abuse is defined as any form of mistreatment by one individual that causes harm to another person. Abuse may happen in any of the following form: physical, emotional, neglect, isolation, financial or material exploitation, abandonment, sexual, and self-neglect. The most common forms of abuse are physical, emotional, and sexual, but the other forms may show up from time to time.

These thing and many more things are considered as abuse.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints has said, "Abuse is the physical, emotional, sexual, or spiritual mistreatment of others. It may not only harm the body, but it can deeply affect the mind and spirit, destroying faith and causing confusion, doubt, mistrust, guilt, and fear." In the Successful Marriages and Families book, we learn "Frequently, abusers have themselves been victims. One study found that about half of sex offenders had themselves been abused, and in general, those who have witnessed or experienced physical abuse as children are more likely to have violence in their relationships as adults." When a child is a victim, and they grow up watching and experiencing these things, they do tend to become adults who are abusive.

Always look at how people are reacting to your questions and your touches when looking for signs of abuse.

Intimate partner violence (IPV) is a public health problem, human rights issue, and clinical challenge. The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence have given the following estimates of IPV in the United States. A) Approximately one in every four women will experience physical violence by an intimate partner at least once in her life; B) Almost 1/3 of female homicide vitims reported in police records are killed by an intimate partner; C) About 1.3 million women are raped or physically assaulted or both by their intimate partners every year; D) Intimate partner violence results in more 18.5 million mental health care visits each year. These numbers are crazy. Many people wonder why people stay with an abusive partner. The abusive partner makes these people feel like they can't live without them. They threaten them and they manipulate them to get what they want.
Many abusers use multiple techniques to get every little thing that they want.

Fertility & Infertility & the Gift of Life

I am so extremely grateful for the wonderful blessings that our Father in heaven has entrusted us with. We may not realize, but he loves us so much. He has given us the sacred power to procreate. He wants to send us His children so that they too, can become more like him. Many people are able to have children and celebrate the gift of life, whereas others have had many problems with infertility.

David holding Tommy.

Just as I said above and just as it says in The Family: A Proclamation to the World, procreation is a sacred power. Having sex and having children is something that should happen within the bounds of a legal marriage. Many people in today's society believe that premarital sex is something that is okay to do. People do not realize that the bonds made is something that should be between two people who are married together.

As men and women employ "the sacred powers of procreation...lawfully wedded as husband and wife", they invite children into their homes. Caring for and nurturing infants, toddlers, young children, and teenagers enables mothers and fathers to obtain greater "faith, hope, charity, and love" (D&C 4:5) as well as "virtue, knowledge, temperance, patience, brotherly kindness, godliness, humility, [and] diligence" (D&C 4:6).  The things that husbands and wives are able to do with one another is beyond amazing. These married couples have one of the greatest responsibilities to teach their children about what God wants.

Lena-the sweet girl with bright blue eyes

Currently, the predicted average of how many children each woman will have in her lifetime is 2.4 children. I can see this in many of the people that I know, but there are plenty of people who I know who have way more than 2.4 children. There are plenty of reasons as to why people aren't having as many kids. Some reasons is there is a decrease in the economic value of children; there is a fear of overpopulation; there are several countries where there is a government pressure to not have as many kids-in this case, many people give up girls because they want a boy who can carry on the family name; more couples are choosing to remain childless; and there are more people using contraceptive. I think that another reason why people aren't having kids or as many kids, is because they have medical problems. My family has had several people who have something called Poly-Cystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). I myself suffer from PCOS, several of my aunts have PCOS, and several of my cousins have PCOS. PCOS is a genetic syndrome where the female's body doesn't create enough of a certain hormone, making it so that an egg doesn't get released from her ovaries. There are actually several other health problems that are linked to PCOS such as: glucose intolerance (pre-diabetes), diabetes, depression/anxiety, sleep apnea, unhealthy cholesterol, and endometrial cancer.

The gift of life is something so sweet and so precious. As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, we know that our body is a temple. We learn this in 1 Corinthians 3:16. "Know ye not that ye are the temple of God..."

Our bodies are temples.

Elder Lynn A. Mickelson, previously a member of the quorum of the seventy, elaborated on the importance of the principle that we "are created in God's image" (Moses 2:27). "We are created in the image of God. The union of he flesh with the spirit can bring us a fulness of joy. Teach your children to respect the sanctity of human life, to revere it and cherish it. Human life is the precious stepping-stone to eternal life, and we must jealously guard it from the moment of conception."
Life in all stages is beautiful. Babies are beautiful as they grow inside their mother's tummies. And even more beautiful and precious as they make an entrance into the world. Then you watch them grow up. They learn and they continue to grow and be beautiful. They become adults, and start having their own babies. They grow older, and give advice to their children and grandchildren, maybe even great-grandchildren. Then they pass away, and as sad as it is to lose somebody, it can be a joyous celebration. You can celebrate all of their accomplishments and remember them through your days.

Generations Through the Family

Family is extremely important in most parts of the world. In many different cultures, the children take care of their parents in their old age. The elderly and the youth hold very important places in our society today. The youth grow up to be the ones taking care of the elderly. They are being raised and taught thing that they will use in basic survival. In our class book, Successful Marriages & Families, chapter 17 discusses the support of families across the generations. Many family scholars during the first half of the 20th century were afraid that the children would grow up, move away to start families and jobs of their own, and rarely have contact with their aging parents and their extended families. While in most cases this is true of most families, many families love to be around their families, their parents and grandparents, and their extended family.

In 2003, President Boyd K. Packer taught, "We must teach our youth to draw close to the elderly grandpas and grandmas." How true this is. there are so many important things that we can earn from our grandparents. I know that from my own grandparents, I have learned many important lessons from both my maternal and paternal grandparents.

This is my maternal grandmother. She has been the rock in our family. She is one of the most loving people that I know. She has taught me so many wonderful things about my family history. She teaches me new things all the time. I love being able to cook with her and I love to help her with projects that she has planned. She is an inspiration to me and to my siblings. She is thoughtful and wonderful. She loves all of her grand-kids and great-grand-kids.



This is my maternal grandfather. He has helped me to have a love for many great things. He loves motorcycles, and ever since I was a small child, I would go on motorcycles, even though it would be up a few blocks, or just around town, it made all of us grand-kids so happy. He has taught us a love for Christmas tree lights. He loves it when we come and help him. He is a light in my life. I'm not sure what I would do without him. He loves to spoil each of us with cookies and ice cream.

 My late paternal grandfather, Robert. He passed away about 7 and a half years ago. We weren't the closest, but I do have a couple of good memories of him. I remember when I was really little, he had a big round belly and he would sit me right up on his belly. He taught my dad a lot of useful skills like working on cars, fixing things, and using his skills to help other people. He loved his kids. His oldest daughter is pictured with him. He lived a good long life and served our country in the Air Force. I remember going and helping him, as he got sick. It was often hard to see him as sick as he was, but I still remember the last time I got to talk to him and the last time he told me that he loved me.

This is my late paternal grandmother, Roberta with my younger cousin. She passed away about 5 and a half years ago, on Mother's Day week. It was a really hard time for my family and I, but she gave so many things to our family. She taught my whole family how to work hard, how to flip houses, how to be crafty, and most importantly how to be more like the Savior. She gave so many people so many blessings and she made a big difference in a lot of lives through out the Lincoln community. She taught me what I know about irises (her favorite flower), about gardening, and about paper stamping, something she passionately did to cheer up others, up until about three weeks before she passed away. I could sit there for hours helping her stamp.

While in high school, I thought about going into geriatrics therapy. I thought that it would be very fascinating to work with the elderly and to work with their families. Currently, my mom works with the state to give extra assistance to my great-grandmother (her grandmother). It is programs like these that we are able to help to take care of our elderly.

I love my grandparents. I loved being able to assist my paternal grandparents, and I love to help my maternal grandparents and great-grandparents. I have a great respect to those in the heath care profession who help to take care of our older loved ones. They hold a very special place in my heart. I won't ever forget those many wonderful nurses and hospice aids who helped my paternal grandparents in their last weeks and months of living.

Temple Covenants that can Save Families: They Cannot Be Lost

"The Shepherd will find his sheep. They were his before they were yours-long before he entrusted them to your care; and you cannot begin to love them as he loves them. They have but strayed in ignorance from the Path of Right, and God is merciful to ignorance. Only the fullness of knowledge brings the fullness of accountability. Our Heavenly Father is far more merciful, infinitely more charitable, than even the best of his servants, and the Everlasting Gospel is mightier in power to save than our narrow finite minds can comprehend"

~Elder Orson F. Whitney~

The temple is a very special place and it holds an amazing spot in my heart. I have had several family members who have not been the best that they could possibly be. I remember the many prayers that I myself said and that my parents have said, and that we still say. It can be extremely painful, to see loved ones stray away from what God wants for them. He wants us to return to him, to be sealed for time and all eternity, to those that we love the most.

"When a seal [the everlasting covenant] is put upon the father and mother, it secures their posterity, so that they cannot be lost, but will be saved by virtue of the covenant of their father and mother."

~Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith~

Even though, I myself, have not been sealed to a spouse, I know that through my parents sealing, and the sealing's of my siblings, I can be with my family forever. It is such a blessing for me to know that I can be with them no matter what happens. I can be with my extended family for time and all eternity, despite the differences that we may have because of this beautiful sealing power. 

This video is a testimony of the sealing power. I would like to add to her testimony.

I know that we can be sealed to our families for time and all eternity. We can be with our families for time and all eternity. We might make mistakes, we might have bad things or good things happen to us, but we can be a family forever. It is a blessing to know that when I get married, and even if I don't get married, I will be able to be with my parents, my siblings, and my nieces and nephews forever. They are my biggest blessings and I know that being sealed in the temple, by the proper authority, is what our Heavenly Father wants for each of us as His children. 

My family-this was for my older sister's sealing. I'm grateful for all of these wonderful people who came for it.

My older brother, with his wife and our parents on their sealing day a year ago.

Honor Thy Father

The average person has the opportunity to be able to have their dad, living with them and helping to raise them. I am one of those average people. I believe that having a father in the home, helping to raise the children that he helped to make is something that can change how children in today's society.

One of my favorite movies is "Courageous", a movie about five men, who have the courage to stand up against the forces of evil and try to be better men and fathers. The following clips are scenes that show the pact made between these men and some of the conversations between two of the deputies.

 In this scene the young deputy, David talks to his partner, Nathan about the importance of being a father. Nathan explains to David how not having his father around, really effected him.
Nathan really helps David see how one man's choice can have a lasting effect on so many people.

The next scene that I am sharing is the Father's Resolution. This resolution is what change many of the fathers in this movie. The Father's Resolution is just that. A resolution to become a better man, a better husband to your wives and a better father to your children. In this clip, all four of the Sheriff's deputies and their friend, Javier, accept to take this resolution and to become better men. They make this commitment in front of their wives, their children, and their God.

This scene is the scene where David, the youngest deputy shows that he has truly changed. He sends a letter to his daughter's mother, asking for her forgiveness for him being selfish. He says that he hasn't wanted to accept responsibility for having a daughter, but because he has found God, he knows what it is that he needs to be doing. But, he does it in a very respectable way. He doesn't try to force her, because he knows that she has been the one taking care of their daughter for the last four years.



I consider myself extremely lucky. I have had my father around and he has been one of the biggest influences in my life. He has been the one to give me advice and the person that I can turn to for anything that is going on in my life. He has always treated each of his children with respect, even when my siblings and I do some pretty stupid things. He is one of the most selfless people that I know.  He has been a father to not only my siblings and I, but to many other people who may not have a father figure in their life.

My Parents and my Maternal Grandparents with my sister and her husband at their sealing in Winter Quarters Nebraska!

My grandpa is somebody who I also look up to. He cares so much about other people and wants to help others all the time. He recently has been sick, but that hasn't stopped him at all. He has been there for my family, my aunt and her family, and my uncle and his family. He never gives up and he loves to teach my brothers about riding motorcycles. He amazes me too.

My sister and my brother-in-law have two children. Josh absolutely loves his kids. He loves spending time with them and he is a really good example to my younger brothers. He treats my sister like a queen and I think that it will help my nephews to not treat women less than the queens that they are and it will help my nieces to know not to expect anything less than being a queen.

My brother-in-law with my nephew and my newborn niece.

My older brother is somebody who I respect a lot. He came home off his two year mission in Seattle, Washington and got married. He and his wife had a handsome baby boy named Oliver Swede in July. Now, I have seen plenty of new dads and how they interact with their children, but I have never seen anybody act like how my brother acts with my sweet nephew. He just absolutely amazes me. Jacob has been one amazing blessing in my life.

My older brother and his sweet little one!!!

There is a primary song that comes to mind when talking about fatherhood and it is Love is Spoken Here in the children's song book. https://www.lds.org/music/library/childrens-songbook/love-is-spoken-here?lang=eng
The thing that sticks out to me here is how blessed I am to have the priesthood in my home, with my father and my mother leading the way. It is one of the biggest blessings that I have. I know that without fathers, we wouldn't be able to return to live with our Father in Heaven. I am so grateful for my dad, and for all of the father figures that I have in my life. I am grateful for the priesthood in my life and for the opportunity that I have to be able to go anywhere and have the priesthood and the chance to receive a priesthood blessing. I am grateful for the men in my life who are worthy to hold the priesthood and who are amazing examples of what fathers should be.


If you have questions about the priesthood, fathers or anything else about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, I would love to answer your questions. Or you can find answers at mormon.org.

The Sacred Calling of Motherhood

From the beginning of time, mothers have been a major part of families. While Elder Bruce C. Hafen was a member of the seventy, he said "For most of our history, the word motherhood meant honor, endearment, and sacrifice.... Yet this spirit of self-sacrifice has become a contentious issue in recent years, making contentious the very idea of motherhood." How true it is that motherhood has become a contentious issue. So many of my friends have had babies recently, and out of them, I would say a little over one third of them don't actually want to be a mother. How sad it is that they would give up their sweet babies to be able to keep going to parties, to keep drinking and doing drugs, or to get ahead in a career.
In 1942, the first presidency declared "Motherhood is near to divinity. It is the highest, holiest service to be assumed by mankind. It places her who honors its holy calling and service next to the angels." Mothers are people who are so special. I have had several mothers, including my own mother who have made an amazing impact on my life. They have given me the help that I need, they have helped to shape who I am, and they have taught me the ways of the Lord.
A few of the mothers who have impacted me the most would be my mom, my sister, my grandmother, my great grandmothers, and several friends.
My mom has helped me through everything and despite me having crazy ideas, she has supported me through my every endeavor. She has been such an influence of who I have become and what I want to achieve in my life. Sometimes, when life gets really hard and I just feel really down, she is the one who is there to pick me up and help me feel better.

My mom, my Sister, and Myself

My sister is somebody who I wish I could be more like. She is super loving, she loves to help me out with all of my problems, she tries so hard and keeps going even when she wants to quit, and she is somebody who a lot of people have looked up to. She is the mother of two small children and has one more on the way. She has a strong foundation and knows that without a doubt, being a mother is what she is supposed to be doing. She knows that it is what the Lord wants.

My grandma, mom, and I

My grandma has been the rock to our family for a long time. She is the one who joined the church and has kept us going in the gospel, despite when we might be falling away or even just "taking a break". She is one major blessing to our family. She has taught me so much about becoming a mother, becoming a wife, and about being a friend to those around us. She is an amazing woman who has so much to offer us.
A friend from church, Sister Bateman, is another amazing example of being an amazing mother. She is the wife of our former stake president and she is one of the most amazing, most selfless people that I know. She welcomed everyone to her home and she loved to have my siblings and I over ever Saturday morning for breakfast with the missionaries. She is somebody that I would love to be more like. She was a very gentle woman and she always loved to talk and to teach and most of all, she loved to love.

There is a primary song about mothers. I Often Go Walking

I often go walking in meadow of clover, And I gather armfuls of blossoms of blue. I gather the blossoms the whole meadow over; Dear mother, all flowers remind me of you.
O mother, I give you my love with each flower To give forth sweet fragrance a whole lifetime through; For if I love blossoms and meadows and walking, I learn how to love them, dear mother, from you.

To all of the amazing and sweet mother out in the world, any where in the world, just know that you are loved by so many people.

MARRIAGE & AN EQUAL PARTNERSHIP

Within "The Family: A Proclamation to the World", we learn about the importance of marriage and how marriage is an equal partnership between man and woman. These two principles were meant for us to be taught. We learn that we are to be together in marriage and in partnership.

The Importance of Marriage
Like most important relationships, marriage is an important one. One above others. We learn many things about man and woman and the important role they have as a husband and a wife through many different readings. In Genesis 2:24, we learn that a man must "leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife", so that he and his wife can "be one flesh." LDS President Spencer W. Kimball said in his book "The Miracle of Forgiveness", "The successful marriage depends in large measure upon the preparation made in approaching it... One cannot pick the ripe, rich, luscious fruit from a tree that was never planted, nurtured, nor pruned."
In 2010, the U.S. Census Bureau, determined that "Most young people no longer associate marriage with the transition to adulthood" and "a notable rise in the average age at which people first marry." In the year 2003, the average man was 27.1 years old the first time he got married and the average woman was 25.3 the first time she got married. This was 13 years ago. I'm sure that the average age for men and women getting married the first time has most likely risen since then.
Brother Merrill J. and Sister Marilyn S. Bateman teach us that, we live in a consumer culture. A culture where "people have learned to discard everything from paper plates to spouses" causing many to be understandably fearful of marriage. There is a fear of divorce, fear of being an inadequate spouse, fear of financial needs, and a fear of lifestyle changes that may compound sufficiently the need for singles to look forward to getting married.

An Equal Partnership
Having a marriage where one person thinks that they are better than everyone else, is not only harmful to the emotions of the other person, but it is also harmful to the marriage itself. This is why we learn in The Family: A Proclamation to the World, that we are equal in our marriage, our partnership, and in our roles as parents. Even though we all aspire to be of "one heart and one mind" (Moses 7:18) this doesn't mean that we are identical. We learn from the scriptures that one gender does not have greater eternal possibility than the other. (Moses 2:26-27; 2 Nephi 26: 28, 33) We need to think of all that we believe to be true about the the equality, both here and in Zion, of men and
women in God's kingdom: equal in blessings; equal in power, intelligence, wisdom, dignity, respect, giving counsel, giving consent, agency, value, potential, authority, exalted fullness, virtue, spirituality, and spiritual gifts; equal in temporal thing in Zion; and equal heirs with Christ.

Elder Earl C. Tingey, then serving as a member of the Seventy, said in a CES fireside, "You must not misunderstand what the Lord meant when Adam was told he was to have a helpmeet. A helpmeet is a companion suited to or equal to us. We walk side by side with a helpmeet, not one before or behind the other. A helpmeet results in an absolute equal partnership between a husband and a wife. Eve was to be equal to Adam as a husband and wife are to be equal to each other." From the beginning, we have been meant to be together. To be willing to work with one another, to counsel with one another and to be with one another. It has never been meant to be one before the other, but one with another.

I know that because of the things that we are taught in The Family: A Proclamation to the World, we can truly become and have all that the Father has in store for each of us. We can be and are a blessing to our spouse, our children, and our families. I know that through the Lord all things are possible and we can gain all things through Him.