The Sacred Calling of Motherhood

From the beginning of time, mothers have been a major part of families. While Elder Bruce C. Hafen was a member of the seventy, he said "For most of our history, the word motherhood meant honor, endearment, and sacrifice.... Yet this spirit of self-sacrifice has become a contentious issue in recent years, making contentious the very idea of motherhood." How true it is that motherhood has become a contentious issue. So many of my friends have had babies recently, and out of them, I would say a little over one third of them don't actually want to be a mother. How sad it is that they would give up their sweet babies to be able to keep going to parties, to keep drinking and doing drugs, or to get ahead in a career.
In 1942, the first presidency declared "Motherhood is near to divinity. It is the highest, holiest service to be assumed by mankind. It places her who honors its holy calling and service next to the angels." Mothers are people who are so special. I have had several mothers, including my own mother who have made an amazing impact on my life. They have given me the help that I need, they have helped to shape who I am, and they have taught me the ways of the Lord.
A few of the mothers who have impacted me the most would be my mom, my sister, my grandmother, my great grandmothers, and several friends.
My mom has helped me through everything and despite me having crazy ideas, she has supported me through my every endeavor. She has been such an influence of who I have become and what I want to achieve in my life. Sometimes, when life gets really hard and I just feel really down, she is the one who is there to pick me up and help me feel better.

My mom, my Sister, and Myself

My sister is somebody who I wish I could be more like. She is super loving, she loves to help me out with all of my problems, she tries so hard and keeps going even when she wants to quit, and she is somebody who a lot of people have looked up to. She is the mother of two small children and has one more on the way. She has a strong foundation and knows that without a doubt, being a mother is what she is supposed to be doing. She knows that it is what the Lord wants.

My grandma, mom, and I

My grandma has been the rock to our family for a long time. She is the one who joined the church and has kept us going in the gospel, despite when we might be falling away or even just "taking a break". She is one major blessing to our family. She has taught me so much about becoming a mother, becoming a wife, and about being a friend to those around us. She is an amazing woman who has so much to offer us.
A friend from church, Sister Bateman, is another amazing example of being an amazing mother. She is the wife of our former stake president and she is one of the most amazing, most selfless people that I know. She welcomed everyone to her home and she loved to have my siblings and I over ever Saturday morning for breakfast with the missionaries. She is somebody that I would love to be more like. She was a very gentle woman and she always loved to talk and to teach and most of all, she loved to love.

There is a primary song about mothers. I Often Go Walking

I often go walking in meadow of clover, And I gather armfuls of blossoms of blue. I gather the blossoms the whole meadow over; Dear mother, all flowers remind me of you.
O mother, I give you my love with each flower To give forth sweet fragrance a whole lifetime through; For if I love blossoms and meadows and walking, I learn how to love them, dear mother, from you.

To all of the amazing and sweet mother out in the world, any where in the world, just know that you are loved by so many people.

MARRIAGE & AN EQUAL PARTNERSHIP

Within "The Family: A Proclamation to the World", we learn about the importance of marriage and how marriage is an equal partnership between man and woman. These two principles were meant for us to be taught. We learn that we are to be together in marriage and in partnership.

The Importance of Marriage
Like most important relationships, marriage is an important one. One above others. We learn many things about man and woman and the important role they have as a husband and a wife through many different readings. In Genesis 2:24, we learn that a man must "leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife", so that he and his wife can "be one flesh." LDS President Spencer W. Kimball said in his book "The Miracle of Forgiveness", "The successful marriage depends in large measure upon the preparation made in approaching it... One cannot pick the ripe, rich, luscious fruit from a tree that was never planted, nurtured, nor pruned."
In 2010, the U.S. Census Bureau, determined that "Most young people no longer associate marriage with the transition to adulthood" and "a notable rise in the average age at which people first marry." In the year 2003, the average man was 27.1 years old the first time he got married and the average woman was 25.3 the first time she got married. This was 13 years ago. I'm sure that the average age for men and women getting married the first time has most likely risen since then.
Brother Merrill J. and Sister Marilyn S. Bateman teach us that, we live in a consumer culture. A culture where "people have learned to discard everything from paper plates to spouses" causing many to be understandably fearful of marriage. There is a fear of divorce, fear of being an inadequate spouse, fear of financial needs, and a fear of lifestyle changes that may compound sufficiently the need for singles to look forward to getting married.

An Equal Partnership
Having a marriage where one person thinks that they are better than everyone else, is not only harmful to the emotions of the other person, but it is also harmful to the marriage itself. This is why we learn in The Family: A Proclamation to the World, that we are equal in our marriage, our partnership, and in our roles as parents. Even though we all aspire to be of "one heart and one mind" (Moses 7:18) this doesn't mean that we are identical. We learn from the scriptures that one gender does not have greater eternal possibility than the other. (Moses 2:26-27; 2 Nephi 26: 28, 33) We need to think of all that we believe to be true about the the equality, both here and in Zion, of men and
women in God's kingdom: equal in blessings; equal in power, intelligence, wisdom, dignity, respect, giving counsel, giving consent, agency, value, potential, authority, exalted fullness, virtue, spirituality, and spiritual gifts; equal in temporal thing in Zion; and equal heirs with Christ.

Elder Earl C. Tingey, then serving as a member of the Seventy, said in a CES fireside, "You must not misunderstand what the Lord meant when Adam was told he was to have a helpmeet. A helpmeet is a companion suited to or equal to us. We walk side by side with a helpmeet, not one before or behind the other. A helpmeet results in an absolute equal partnership between a husband and a wife. Eve was to be equal to Adam as a husband and wife are to be equal to each other." From the beginning, we have been meant to be together. To be willing to work with one another, to counsel with one another and to be with one another. It has never been meant to be one before the other, but one with another.

I know that because of the things that we are taught in The Family: A Proclamation to the World, we can truly become and have all that the Father has in store for each of us. We can be and are a blessing to our spouse, our children, and our families. I know that through the Lord all things are possible and we can gain all things through Him.

Is there only one?!

Is there only one person for each of us? No, I don't think so. I don't think that there is only one person meant for each of us. I think that there is definitely more than one "perfect person" for each of us. We had a zone conference before our mission president was released and he did a kind of mini exit interview. He was talking to us about "the one". He told us that there could be this really special girl or boy in our lives and we would be totally in love. But one day, something could happen to them before the opportunity to be sealed could happen, and they die. What do we do then? We move on over time, and we meet someone else. We fall in love with them and we get sealed and we can have the chance to live happily ever after.
So to answer the question of only one person who is perfect for us, no. There are more than one person who is perfect for us. Heavenly Father put lots of people who have lots in common with us and we with them. We need to pray and make sure that they are the person that we want to spend eternity with. We need to make sure that for us, this is what we need and what we want. Things can change and people can change.

The Family!

Currently, I am taking a class all about the family. We have been learning and researching so many things about the family, our Heavenly Father's plan for our family, why the family is so important, and so many other things.

We have been talking a lot about "The Family: A Proclamation to the World." In this amazing proclamation, our beloved prophet and the apostles talk to us about the many things that are a challenge to the family unit. We learn that each of us were made in the image of our Father in Heaven. We look just like him, because just as we learned in Genesis 1:27, "...In the image of God created he him; male and female created he them." We learn that we are the beloved spirit son or daughter of loving heavenly parents, who have created a divine nature and a divine destiny for each of us. They love us so much and we love them too.

In the pre-mortal realm, we knew and we worshipped God as our Eternal Father, we accepted his plan to come to this earth to gain a physical body and gain the earthly experience that each of us need "to progress toward perfection and ultimately realize our divine destiny as heirs of eternal life."
The first commandment that our Father in Heaven gave to Adam and Eve was to "multiply and replenish the earth." This commandment still remains in full force as it is important to our eternal life. It is further declared that "...God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife." It is affirmed of the sanctity of life and the importance that life has in God's eternal plan.
In the proclamation, we learn the outline of the family and the responsibility that a man and a woman have. A "husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children... Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, to observe the commandments of God and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live." We have a solemn responsibility and a sacred duty to our children. It is solemn and it is sacred. How can we or anybody ignore that it is solemn and it is so sacred to be parents of God's little children. We are promised that we as mothers and fathers, "will be held accountable before God for the discharge of our sacred obligations.
"The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan." We have a sacred duty to attend to our responsibilities that we agreed to before we came to this life. We agreed to have children someday. We agreed that we would help take care of them for time and all eternity. It matters that we uphold our side of our promise with God. We have sacred responsibilities and we are obligated to help one another as equal partners.
I believe in marriage for eternity. I know that through the sacred sealing power, I can be with my family for not only time, but I can be with them for eternity too. I know that marriage is supposed to be between a man and a woman, who are legally married. I know that children are sent here, so that we can help them learn and know of our Father in Heaven and to be taught of our Savior, Jesus Christ. I know that we have a solemn responsibility and a sacred duty to our Heavenly Father's children. I know that the church is true. I have a testimony of these things because I have prayed about them and I have learned for myself that this is how God wants things.

The Relationship Attachment Model.

The Relationship Attachment Model or RAM, consists of 5 different parts-Commit, Know, Trust, Rely, and Touch. Our author, felt that it was very important to have a very good balance between these 5 things. And I agree.
As we discussed in a marriage class that I took last year, a person has to start off somewhere, before they decide to go farther in other areas. It is always good to find a good balance between them, but starting out with having a lot of Touch, can be an issue. We talked about how important it is to know and trust somebody before you commit to them. After getting to know you and them getting to know you, you can gain a mutual trust between each other, that sooner than later, will gain a commitment for the both of you. Once you have gained a knowledge of each other, you trust each other, and you have decided to make a commitment to each other, you start to heavily rely on each other. And last but not least, after you have gotten to know each other, you have that trust and that commitment to one another now, and you rely on them, that is when touch should begin to start happening.
Something that I find important is when somebody can go through an entire relationship before marriage and not ever once touch the other person, for their own personal desires and gratification. This shows so much love that these two people must have towards each other. Some people start their relationship out with touch, and lots of times they regret this for their entire life.

How Marriage Has Affected My Life...

Marriage is something that we see around us a lot, especially as students in community where it is a norm. Marriage is something that I have grown up, being taught, that it is something that is not to be taken lightly. I have dated people throughout the past several years, some whom I can see myself marrying some day, others who I sometimes wonder, "why would Heavenly Father let me date somebody who I don't want to marry or have anything to do with now?" I can tell you why. It is because he loves me enough to allow me to make my own choices, to decide what I truly want in a husband for myself, and in a father for the children that he will bless us with some day. I know that can seem like kind of a strange thing to think about, but it is so true.

I was talking to a friend of mine, who said something that kind of shocked me. He said, "You girls all have a list of what you want the perfect husband to be. Well, to be honest, I have had a list up until a few months before I got home from my mission. I had all of these expectations of what I wanted in a perfect wife, and a perfect mother."

Wow. I seriously thought that it was always girls that had the list of the perfect spouse-that it was only us as girls who had that long horrifying list of the perfect spouse. I guess it really never occurred to me, that it is something that guys think about too. My friend said, "I gave up on that list after I realized, I need to marry who Heavenly Father wants me to marry." After hearing this last remark, I realized that over the span of the last five or so years, I too have been giving up on this precious list, that leaders would have us make in weekly activities.

I think of a talk given by Elder Robert D. Hales, in the October 2015 General Conference for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, in which he addresses matters given to us as the younger generation in today's societies. Elder Hales says, "Again, may I speak frankly? The track that leads to marriage passes through the terrain called dating! Dating is the opportunity for lengthy conversations. When you date, you learn everything you can about each other. Get to know each other's families when possible. Are your goals compatible? Do you share the same feelings about the commandments, the Savior, the priesthood, the temple, parenting, callings in the Church, and serving others? Have you observed one another under stress, responding to success and failure, resisting anger, and dealing with setbacks? Does the person you are dating tear others down or build them up? Is his or her attitude and language and conduct what you would like to live with every day?
That said, none of us marry perfection; we marry potential. The right marriage is not only about what I want; it's also about what she-who's going to be my companion-wants and needs me to be."

Wow. How powerful is this message that our beloved apostle has shared with us?

I have realized, that no matter how perfect I want my husband to be, I remember that nobody is perfect. We all have mistakes and we all have the tendencies of the natural man. We all have mistakes, and we all have things that we are trying to work on and overcome. I used to have a really long list of what I wanted. But, after lots of dating, praying, and fasting, I know that the Lord has somebody who loves me for who I am, looking past my mistakes, and looking forward to the future that we will have together.

There have been several people who have amazing marriages that I would like to be like. There are my parents who show that working together can really actually happen. They have been the biggest blessing in my life and the biggest examples to me of what a marriage should look like.
There is the stake president who I grew up knowing as the stake president and his lovely wife, who always had good things to say about everyone. They were so humble and they loved to serve the Lord.
There is my sister and brother-in-law, who have been married for three years, but have been such blessings in my life. I am so grateful for them and the sweet little children that they have brought into this world.
There is my brother and sister-in-law who have shown over the past 8 months of marriage, that when sacrifices need to be made, they can be made. And life can definitely go on with the bare necessities.
There are so many more marriages that I admire, and I know that someday, I will be able to work on my own Happily Ever After!

I know that for sure, I want to be able to have my own marriage. Knowing that it won't be perfect, and my husband won't be just a list of expectations that I have always had for him. I don't even care about most of the list because I know that he will be perfect for me. I know that I want a marriage that will be forever, that I can be sealed to him for Time and all Eternity. Nothing can stop me from reaching that one goal. I think seeing examples of marriage, where things can be pretty rocky at times due to problems in the world, it makes me want to try harder to make a marriage work. And to make any relationship work.

How Our Children Are Using Their Time on Technology... And Other Things...

How are your children using their time? Are they using lots of screen time? Or are they doing things that could be helping them get farther in their lives and their education? What are your children doing while using up their "precious" screen time? Do you actually know what your kids are really looking at?

A study done by the Kaiser Family Foundation shows how the average kid really spends their day. The average kid spends 2.5 hours listening to music, almost 5 hours of television and movies, 3 hours of internet and video games, and only 38 minutes of good old fashioned reading. This right now adds up to about 75 hours every week of media usage. But this also doesn't include 1.5 hours of texting and 30 minutes of actual talking on the phone every day. Add all of this together and your child is using a mere average of 356 hours to the average month and almost 4,700 hours every year. What does this mean? This means that on average they are spending over half of the year using some sort of media/technology.

Ever wondering what your kids are doing after they ask to get onto Facebook and you allow them? What apps are they using. There are many kinds of apps that our children love to use. You might recognize a few of these apps that you might use as often as they do. There are texting apps, micro-blogging apps, live streaming, self destructing/secretive apps, and chatting/meeting/dating apps.

Some of the common texting apps are Kik, ooVoo, and WhatsApp are all very common texting apps. Some things that parents need to know about Kik is that its loaded with in app ads and purchasing and there is a need to be cautious of stranger danger. Kik has been linked with some high-profile crimes. OoVoo and WhatsApp can be a bit better than Kik because you can only chat with people who are in your contacts and have the app too, but ooVoo can become very addicting because of video chatting and WhatsApp becomes very pushy for your child to start adding other friends who don't have the app.
Common micro-blogging apps are Instragram, Tumblr, Twitter, and Vine. These are like online scrap-booking apps that allow teens and adults to share pictures and videos with others. Many times, things can be search using a hashtag and things shared are often open to the general public. Many things can be raunchy, pornographic, or can be related, to drugs, gangs, and other worldly things.
Live streaming apps aren't nearly as common as other apps, but one come app is YouNow. YouNow allows kids to stream live and watch things live. The main focus with this app is to get the most followers and have the biggest fan base.
Self-destructing and secretive apps are actually very common and some of the top apps are BurnNote, Snapchat, Whisper, YikYak. These apps allow people to send messages, videos, or pictures, and allow them to disappear after a small amount of time. Parents need to realize that these apps allow sexting to happen more often. Since these pictures and videos often only last "a few seconds" the chances of sexting and cyber-bullying happening, are much higher than people would honestly think that they are.
Chatting, meeting, and dating apps are much more common with people in their late teen years and in their 20's. These apps allow young people to meet and get to know other people who are their age, without having a real commitment. People need to realize that this can often be a very dangerous way to hook up with people. Some of the common relationship apps are MeetMe, Tinder, Omegle, and Skout.

I think that as we are having children who have phones, Ipads, and tablets, we need to know what apps it is that they are using. We need to be informed of the the things that they find fascinating and things that they are interested in. I know from my personal life, I often don't know somethings, even though, I am a part of the generation who uses technology all of the time. Can you even imagine, what could be happening with your child or teenager and you don't have any clue what is going on? This I feel is what most parents feel is happening to them.

Lets be the parents who can be their child's friend, but also be their parent too! We can't honestly expect them to listen to us, if we are just being their friend, but we also can't expect them to trust us, if we can't be an adult about things going on with them either. If you feel like your child or teen is spending a bit to much time on their social media, stand up and make a change. Go do something that you know they will honestly love! They will thank you for it later in life.



ABC news. Retrieved from http://abcnews.go.com/WN/kids-electronics-study-shows-kids-spend-hours-day/story?id=9616699

Elgersma, C. (2016). Common Sense Media. Retrieved from https://www.commonsensemedia.org/blog/16-apps-and-websites-kids-are-heading-to-after-facebook