Welcome to FAML 120: Parenting Skills

 Welcome to Parenting Skills-a course given through Brigham Young University-Idaho. In this course we have been focusing on The National Extension Parent Education Model (NEPEM). This model follows 7 focus categories:

 

1. Care for Self

2. Understanding

3. Guiding

4. Nurturing

5. Motivating

6. Developing

7. Advocating

Each of these categories were covered every week during this 7 week course that I have participated in this semester! Dive into some of the things that I have been learning about this semester through the next several blogs-where I share my new understanding into categories of the National Extension Parent Education Model.

The Next Chapter

 There have been so many different chapters being written in my life, so I guess I should update you all on what this past chapter has been like. About 2 years ago, I dropped out of Brigham Young University Idaho after several things had happened, but a big one that really impacted me was I realized that the major that I was going into, wasn’t at all what I wanted to be doing. I was struggling with everyday life as a Marriage and Family Therapy Major, and it wasn’t my passion. I came home from Idaho, spent an amazing summer trying to figure my life out, met some of the greatest missionaries, and decided to move to Utah. I didn’t know why I was going to Utah, but there was a pull, and I needed to be there. I didn’t know my roommates or anyone in my ward. I had one friend, Tara, while she was a missionary here in Nebraska. I got a job working at this cute little restaurant called The Bluebird Restaurant and I was out in utah for about 5 & a 1/2 months. There was some health challenges that brought me back home at Christmas in 2019, I started working for Lincoln Public Schools again for about 2 months before Covid-19 hit the U.S.A. I was blessed to be at home because everything shut down. My brother Joseph came home from his mission in the Philippines. And things were like a roller coaster after that. 

As the 2020-2021 school year started, I again started to wonder what I was doing with my life! This is where things got interesting. I was placed on some routes with some of the greatest kids, and I got two drivers who encouraged me so much!!! (But a huge Thank You and Shout-out to all of my drivers at Lps! You all encourage me to do better and be better!!) In March 2021, after months of praying and searching and reading my Patriarchal Blessing, I felt impressed to go back to school to become a Nursing Assistant. This was a big thing, because I have always struggled with school, but I know how important education is! I went to Southeast Community College and signed up for a class, and took a big leap of faith in continuing my education! As the school year ended, I realized how much I loved the kids at the elementary school, and I applied for a couple of different positions, hoping and praying that I was going to be able to get a job at this amazing school where my 4th grade teacher was the principal now, and all the while I was also expecting to do school. This was a huge step! I was having these great experiences with these great kids, and awesome coworkers, but I started feeling like something was missing.

I started spending a little more time with the elders (male missionaries from my church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints), and started feeling prompted and impressed to be a missionary, but I placed that thought in the back of my mind. School ended, and class started for me. I was able to do really well with this class, and at the beginning of July, I sat down to eat breakfast and started talking to my mom about applying for the nursing program at SCC. I felt really good about the decision to go into nursing, but decided to pray about it and ask God. I wasn’t sure what answer I was expecting, but I can testify that God does answer prayers, and sometimes it is through other people. The next day, Wednesday July 7, I was talking to our Spanish elders, and one asked me if I had ever thought of serving a mission. I had thought about serving a mission, but at that point in my life (6 years ago), it wasn’t what I was suppose to do. He told me I needed to pray about it, because I would make a great missionary! Again, realizing that I had been feeling like I needed to go on a mission for a couple of months, pushed this to the back of my mind. 

On Saturday, July 10, I drove to Omaha to attend the baptism of a young girl who I had been fellowshipping. As I sat back watching as she was baptized, I knew at that moment that I wanted and needed to serve a mission. I drove back to Lincoln in record time to attend another baptism, and again found myself talking to the elders. Elder Christiansen shared that he didn’t want me to feel like he was trying to pressure me into serving a mission, in which I reassured him that there was no pressure. He did share with me though that a mission is a very personal experience, but that there were so many people who loved me and would love to see me become a missionary. That as a missionary, there are very specific opportunities for each of us to invite people to feel the love of our Savior, Jesus Christ, and that if I served a mission, I would find those individuals! That struck me.

So, you might be asking yourself, “What does this have to do with the next chapter?” Well, I decided on July 10, that I wanted to serve as a missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I made the decision to to help people find and know the love that our Savior, Jesus Christ, has for each of us! He knows us and has a plan perfectly designed for each of us! I prayed to know what I needed to do, and I received an answer to that prayer. With the decision to become a missionary, I started the process to becoming a missionary. I met with my bishop, who opened the recommend forms for me to start filling. I completed those, went to the dentist, one week later went to the doctor, and submitted my papers to my bishop. I met with my bishop two weeks ago, met with my stake president the next night and submitted my mission papers this week! I am so excited to serve as a missionary! This is an opportunity that I have wanted for such a long time! I am ready to go have this experience and do God’s work, serving his children! I’ll update you all when I find out where I am called to! It should be any day now!!

What the what?!

So, life really does get crazy! And I'm only going to share a little bit of the craziness!

There is something about the fog that puts life into perspective.
Also, the temple looked gorgeous. It is such a light in my life.

To start off with, I have not written a new blog post in quite sometime (try like a year and a half), except on my younger brother Joe's blog. If you are wanting to stay caught up on his blog, here it is: elderjosephlucas@blogspot.com. He is doing really well, loves the Philippines and what not. His testimony has grown so much and I really cannot express the love and gratitude for the blessing and example he is in my life. I quite literally love my little brother quite a bit. Joe is such a light in my life.

Well, as most people know, I went back to the Brigham Young University-Idaho campus and it has quite honestly been a crazy last year and almost a half. Lets start off with last year. My brother David came out to school with me, along with my brother Jacob, his wife Emily, and their sweet adorable little boy, Oliver. It was a lot of fun to have all of us out here together and to experience college life (well, for David and I, we really were enjoying that single college life) together. As time moved on, David met sweet Nicci Pacheco, they started dating and well, the rest is history. Actually they got engaged last April, got married in August and found out they were expecting in September. It was honestly a lot of fun to get a new sister and I am grateful that David found a great girl to keep forever. Oh yeah, they also moved home to Lincoln, where David got a great job with the railroad.

My favorite place to be!!!

I learned just last year that my plan to graduate with a bachelors degree in Marriage and Family Studies is getting postponed a year. I was suppose to graduate in July and I started having really bad anxiety after my car accident a year and a half ago, that truly escalated this past year. I am going home to take care of all of that so that I can be the best person that I can be, but also so I don't continue to feel like I am struggling all the time. Anxiety is real and honestly, it is part of life, but it doesn't have to be the thing that controls your life. You are more than your anxiety and I really know that to be true. You let you define what your life is going to be. It is what you make it and so much more. Well, with the anxiety that escalated, classes were really getting hard and I was struggling to function sometimes. I started seeing a really great counselor who helped me talk about my problems, but also find solutions so that I could manage on my own. But, because of all of this, I talked to my parents and I prayed a lot and came to the conclusion that I needed to move home after this semester to get my life in a little more order. With that being said, I jumped at the opportunity to do one last semester on campus and decided to sign up for the Relationship Education Certification class. Oh my heavens, let me tell you how amazing this class is. I love it!! I've learned so much and I am literally so blessed to be at a university that gives its students opportunities like this one. I moved my graduation semester back to the Spring semester of 2020, which means I am still graduating before I am suppose to.

Some absolutely incredible things happened this past year though. I chose to go through the Lord's temple for myself and I became endowed. With this choice, came many covenants that I hold dear to my heart, but also brought about many changes in myself. I chose. Life is about choices and this was one of the best choices that I have ever made. I also accepted the call to work in the Lord's temple in Rexburg every Friday. Oh my heavens. I love working in the temple with the youth. I get to see so many people from all over the world. I get to meet some amazing people who share their testimony with me and I with them. It is just so beautiful. One thing I love is the people I get to work with. They and myself call them my old people. I love getting to know them. I love getting to spend time with them, I love joking with them about being a Husker. (I know. It's a big thing for me to say that I am a Husker, but it is what I am, so lets be honest about it.) They brighten my life with so much good. They teach me so much about the temple, but also about life. I'm so lucky to get to have more adopted parents.

My brother is literally the cutest.
Also, Emery is almost ready to crawl. And she loves her daddy.

Another thing that happened this past year is Jacob and Emily had a beautiful baby girl named Emery. This girl is something else and I love her beautiful personality. I get a lot of Oliver time because Emery cries every time she sees me. I don't blame her because I scare myself most of the time. But, she is so cute and I lover her so much! Oliver is the cutest though because he loves having his baby. He loves Emery and gives her lots of love and hugs and kisses. Oh!!! I just cannot get enough of my siblings' kids.

I have been like ultra blessed with like some of the best roommates and more adopted brothers this past year. I have made so many friends and been able to meet new people. I had this amazing group of brothers during the fall semester (2018). They literally knew just how to make me feel better, but also helped me become better because they took time to care and to love me for who I am and not for the problems that I was having. I love them so much. I also have great brothers this semester, but their is something about fall semester and how close we all got. They are the best and I hope they know how blessed I am to have them all in my life. I wish I was going to be here to see them all again next semester, but I guess that is what airplanes are for. I think I might just fly out here just to see them.

This was me at Thanksgiving 2018.

This is me as of two days ago. 

Fun facts about everything else I've been up to. I decided I wanted to start feeling better, so I started doing three things. I have been trying to go to bed by 10 p.m. (If you try to call me after that, my phone is probs on do not distrub, so deal with it. I will call you back the next day.) I don't do as well with that as I would like, but I do get up at 7 a.m. I'm kind of weird and I've really been enjoying it. Well, if you're going to be up so early, why not be productive about it as well. So I have been going and walking/running on the track every morning (or almost every morning) and it has been paying off. Also, I've been trying to eat healthier, which is hard when you really love those Reese's Peanut Butter Cups with the Reese's Pieces in them. (If you haven't had these, you can buy them at Walmart. They are freaking amazing!!!)

Anywhos... I freaking love people and new friends. So hit me up or contact me because I would love to know you all, and what you guys all think and also what things you want to hear about!!! I love you all!!! Have a very blessed life!!! :D

Commitment Quotes

This is for my Family class. We were challenged to find at least 20 quotes and share on social media at least three with sharing our thoughts about them. These are the quotes that I chose to share and my thoughts about commitment.
“Compared with other forms of romantic relationships, marriage involves a higher level of commitment from partners and a stronger future orientation... For these reasons, marriage is likely to have a particularly prominent role in shaping people’s identities and sense of self. The institutional nature of marriage, therefore, combined with the long-term nature of marital bonds, may account for the especially favorable state of well-being among spouses.”
“The final step of making a commitment to marry does involve risk and require greater responsibility, but it must be taken to gain a greater sense of security and oneness in the quality of your relationship. This is why most research clearly establishes that a larger percentage of couples who are married describe their relationship as achieving high levels of romance, sexual enjoyment, and personal satisfaction than the percentage of couples that cohabitation.”
“This first strand of commitment is made from passion, devotion, and resoluteness. It prompts personal sacrifices for the good fo your partner. It holds your partner close to you even when you are apart and elevates his or her importance when you are together.”

Thinking about how several of my relationships have gone, I realize that I need to make more of a commitment to those who I like, care for and even am falling in love with. Committing to someone is a huge step for any person. I’m no exception to that rule. It is definitely hard at times to want to stay committed to someone that you truly care for. But I know that as I stay committed to my partner, the love of my life, my everything, I will be able to have a stronger bond and understanding of them and of us as a couple.

My Story... And How I Came to Know The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is True!!!

Everyone’s story is different. We all come from different walks of life and we each have challenges that were specifically designed for us. I am definitely no exception to that. I have had several trials and several temptations and through all of these things, I always wondered, “Why me?”
For a large portion of my life, a lot has revolved around the Church. And when I say this, I don’t mean it in a negative way, as the church is what helped me to really grow and ask questions for myself. A lot of people have questioned my beliefs and I know a large number of people have watched my actions and my words.
When I was younger, I remember being questioned about why I believed the things that I had been taught my entire life. I would always respond, matter of factly, “Because it’s true.” Well, I got baptized when I was 8 years old, by my own choice. And with full support from my parents! As I got older, my standards, my beliefs, and my values were questioned a little more, especially as each year came and went.
In middle school, all of my elementary friends changed and started to choose to do things how they wanted to, because we each had a little more freedom. And so, with the rest of my classmates, I too, began to change. I don’t know if it was for the better, but I still stood up for the things that I had been taught to believe in, because I really didn’t know what else to believe in at that point. It was something that I could hold onto. In middle school, I learned quite a bit about who I was and I thought long and hard about what things I would like to have come from life.
In high school, I struggled. A Lot!! My freshman year, I chose to be friends with some people who changed how I viewed life and I started to change how I acted and how I was treating my family. I was definitely not happy, but I also knew that I would be able to make my own choices, so that I could learn and know for myself what things I liked. Towards the beginning of the second semester of my freshman year, my best friend from the First Grade passed away from a brain aneurysm and I was completely devastated. He was almost 15 years old and had so much potential and so many opportunities ahead of him. I got really mad at God and started to make choices, where the consequences weren’t helping me get what I wanted, so I would make sure that I did almost everything that I could, without making my parents angry, but that I still got to make my own choices. I started dating a guy my sophomore year and there were a couple of times where I made some choices that I knew would not lead me back to the road of happiness, and I knew that I needed to change. My junior year we got sister missionaries in our congregation at church and I started to go with them to help teach lessons to people who were learning more about the church. I’m so grateful for those two wonderful sisters, because they were what I needed to start changing things around in my life. I wanted to be happy, but I couldn’t find the courage to change, and once those sisters were moved to a new area, I started to hangout with the same people who were taking me away from where I wanted to be. My senior year consisted of a sweet friend dying and I struggled again from the pains of death. I good friend of mine, helped me out a lot at that time. He reminded me that this life isn’t the end and that I would see her again. That she was no longer struggling with things of the world and that she was at home with Heavenly Parents who loved her. He reminded me that those same Heavenly Parents love me too. I wasn’t alone through this.
Once I graduated high school, I made the choice to apply and attend Brigham Young University in Rexburg, Idaho. The year between graduating and starting college, were full of rough patches, as I worked on changing from what I had become, to what I needed to become. My first year of college was hard. I dated a great guy my first semester, but broke up with him because something wasn’t right. It wasn’t him, but it was definitely me. I wasn’t the person that I needed to be, to become a wife or to think about marriage. I didn’t know for myself that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints was true, but I did believe that bits and pieces of the things that I had been taught were true. I came home in April of 2016 and in three short weeks, my aunt passed away. I was still struggling with some things and I started to really struggle with her death. I started making it back to the temple, where we believe that we can find comfort and that through the sacred sealing power from worthy priesthood holders, we can be sealed for time and all eternity as a family. I went at this time to feel the comfort and feel the Savior’s love for me.
About this same time, I was asked to serve at church as the Activity Day leader and work with the younger girls between the ages of 8 and 11 years old. I didn’t know how I was going to do this calling. What do I have to teach these girls? What things can I share with them, that I know to be true? Over the past year and a half of serving as these sweet girls’ leader, I have started to learn that it isn’t always what we have to offer them, but sometimes what they can offer and teach us. These sweet girls helped me to know that I have a Father in Heaven, who loves me and I do love Him too. I have been able to know for myself that Jesus Christ is MY Savior! He died for each of us, that we might be able to return to live with our Father. I know that He died for ME! And He was resurrected as part of our Father’s plan. I know this to be true, and I cannot deny it!!
I know that Heavenly Father has a plan for me, and he has a plan for each of you! He loves each of us beyond all measure!! We might not know why we are being tried and put through certain temptations, but Heavenly Father does and he know that the outcomes will be unlike anything we might expect!! I know that this church is true! I know that the Book of Mormon is another testament of our Savior Jesus Christ and goes hand in hand with the Bible! I know that Joseph Smith is a prophet of God who restored the everlasting gospel to the earth and received the keys to the priesthood. I know that we all are trying to becme like God and that we can and will live with Him again!! I know these things and many other things to be true!
I learned for myself that I am a daughter of a Heavenly King and I have a divine destiny! I know that I can become a better person and that I can have true happiness and peace through His perfect plan!
If you have questions about what I believe or what members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints believe, please contact me! Or if you want to talk with a missionary or a representative for the church, go to Moromon.org! Don’t give up because life is getting hard, because life can and will get better as you come unto Him! I love each of you so much!

The Proclamation to the World: The Family-and Me

Many people have heard about the Proclamation to the World: The Family, but many people have never read it. There are so many glorious truths that come from this sacred proclamation. There are many things that our families and our souls can learn from our beloved prophets. I know that I have learned so many things, just from simply reading and learning and praying for myself.

I know that Jesus Christ died for me, and he died for you! I know that families are meant to be together for Time and All Eternity. We aren't supposed to last just until death, but beyond that so that we are able to spend time with one another in our next life. I know that through the priesthood, I can be blessed by my faithfulness. I know that families are a very sacred part of our Father in Heaven's plan for each of us. He means for each of us to have families.

I know that children are gifts from God. I know that they can bring some of the greatest joy into our lives and I know that we will be blessed for taking care of God's little ones. We have the opportunity to bring little ones in the world and to teach them, so that they can begin to choose between right and wrong.

If you have any questions about what I believe, please leave me a note. If there are questions about what the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and what they believe, feel free to contact an official representative for the church by checking out mormon.org. Either way, I would love to make sure that your questions are answered. I hope you remember that our Father in Heaven loves you and so does our Savior. They want you to come to them, through prayer and through your faith in them.
Thank you all for reading! I love you all!!!

The Benefits and Challenges of Family Recreation

Family recreation and doing things together as a family is such an important part of keeping families together. Families can do things together, but is the whole family enjoying the activity? Sometimes, it's hard to find something that the whole family enjoys. Sometimes, not everyone is going to love the activity, but most of the time, they do enjoy being able to do something with the rest of their family.

My aunt Tisha and I. I went with her every year for Black Friday Shopping since she and my uncle got together. I was really sad that I missed going with them a year and a half ago. Tisha passed away last year on mother's day. I miss her so much!!!

Research has shown that family satisfaction with current levels of leisure involvement is a strong predictor of overall satisfaction with family life, even when accounting for income, marital status, age, and history of divorce. When we are doing things that include our whole family, we are more likely to stick together and push through hard times.

My younger brothers, my parents and I in front of the Idaho Falls Temple. This is the temple that my grandparents got married in. It was wonderful to see and learn more about the place where a part of our family history began.

Another set of research shows that direct positive relationships between family leisure involvement and levels of family functioning. Families who regularly engage in core leisure activities "depicted by common everyday, low-cost, relatively accessible, and often home-based activities that many families do frequently"(Zabriskie & McCormick 2003) such as playing board games or playing catch in the yard, have higher levels of family cohesiveness than those families who do not regularly engage in such activities. Families who participate in balanced leisure activities, "depicted through activities that are generally less common, less frequent, more out of the ordinary, and usually not home based thus providing novel experiences" (Zabriskie & McCormick 2003), such as going to disneyland or on a cruise, have been found to have higher levels of adaptability than families who do not engage in such activities.

On the farm. We were lighting fireworks off to celebrate birthdays and the Fourth of July.

Many family traditions and rituals, such as religious rituals, birthdays, or Christmas, may be labor-intensive for some members of the family. But even though such rituals may be challenging, none were noted for having negative influences. Familial benefits of religious rituals included strengthened relationships, more family togetherness and unity, increased communication, less contention, more kindness, and better parenting. the effort to create these experiences, although difficult, appears to hold meaningful rewards.

At my Uncle and Aunt's wedding. We had three generations here. It was so much fun to have my great-aunts there celebrating with the rest of us.

My family has had lots of different recreational activities that we do. We have my siblings over for dinner, we play lots of different games together, we work together to get things done, we go swimming together and go bowling with each other in the summer time, we sell firework and Christmas trees together, and lots of other things. Over the past few years, we have been getting closer and closer to each other. We no longer fight over the things that we want to do with one another, but instead we compromise between what is going to be the most available.

The day that my youngest brother came home from scout camp. My niece and nephew were so happy and excited to have their uncle Sam home with them.

I'm really grateful for the time that I have had with my family. The closeness that we now have, is something that I don't ever want to give up. It means so much to me to have a close relationship with my amazing family members. I think that as some of our family members have passed away, we will each start having a whole new relationship with those who are still here on this earth.

I think that some of the challenges for trying to plan a family activity is schedules. Whenever I have time to do something with my family members, they already have things planned. But every time they have time, I have homework that I am doing. It is often a challenge to find a good place in all of our busy schedules to have family time. I think that a lot of families get together when somebody is having a baby, when somebody is getting married, or when somebody has passed away. At least, this is the case with my family. It is a great blessing to be able to celebrate and enjoy eachother's company. 

P.S.
Here are a list of things that my family loves to do together, that you might like to try with yours:

• Bike rides
• Watching t.v.
• Going for walks
• Taking pictures
• Swimming
• Shopping
• Wrestling
• Lighting Fireworks
• Gardening
• Listen to music and go for long car rides
• Reading books
• Play any kind of ball
• Play card games